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I know better than to drink so much. When I do it puts me in situations like this and I don’t like being in situations like this.
Lifting my head, I press the ignition button and listen to my car as it rumbles to life. Checking the time, I see it’s just after five in the morning.
Even though I feel completely sober, a part of me is tempted to shut the car back off and sleep off the remaining alcohol still flowing through my veins. And even though that’s the smarter option, I find myself popping the car into gear and slowly backing out of the parking spot.
——
“You got all your stuff?” My brother Adam steps around the back of the car where I’m shoving the last of my things into the trunk.
While it would be much quicker to fly back to Chicago, it’s easier to drive. That way I don’t have to worry about shipping all of my stuff. Plus, being in the car for two days alone will give me time to mentally prepare myself for how I’m going to feel being back in Chicago for the first time in three years.
“Yep, this is the last of it,” I say, stepping back to close the trunk.
“You got everything you need for the road?”
“I think so. I packed some drinks and snacks. Anything else I can get along the way.”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I’m gonna miss having your moody ass around.”
I chuckle, my gaze going to my oldest brother. Adam and I had never been extremely close while I was growing up. Being eight years apart, Adam left for college when I was still in grade school. It’s been nice having this time with him. Don’t get me wrong, he’s no peach to live with, but I was surprised by how similar we are even though our lives are polar opposite.
He’s a doctor and one of the most promising ones in his field. I’m a musician who spends the majority of his nights jamming out at whatever dive bar I’m able to land a gig at. He’s clean shaven and nicely dressed. I’ve got a sleeve of tattoos down one arm, sport a permanent week-old scruff, and wear whatever shit is laying around that smells relatively clean, which usually equates to a wrinkled t-shirt and jeans.
But for all of our differences, when you take away the superficial shit, we’re more alike than I ever realized.
“My moody ass?” I finally comment. “I hate to tell you, big brother, but you’re not one to talk.”
“I blame that on sleep deprivation.” He chuckles.
“Maybe you shouldn’t work so hard.”
“The harder I work, the more lives I save.”
“You should trademark that shit and stick it on a business card.”
“That’s not a bad idea.” He shoves my shoulder.
“You won’t have to miss me for long. I’ll see you at Aaron’s wedding in what, three weeks?”
“I can’t believe it took him and Sam this long to finally tie the knot. They’ve been engaged forever it feels like.”
“Probably because they have.”
“Good that you’re going home now. It’ll give you a couple weeks to get settled before the wedding madness begins.”
“Yeah, and it will give everyone something to focus on other than my return.”
“So youdidstrategically plan it this way.” He gives me a knowing look.
“What can I say? You know I hate being the center of attention.”
“You?” He blanches. “Since when?”
“Fuck you, dude.” I laugh, crossing toward the driver’s side of the car. “I guess I should get going. I want to try to make it to Wyoming before stopping for the night.”
“Well, good luck with that. That’s nearly half of your thirty some hour trip. You’ll be lucky if you get there by the middle of the night.”
“I may stop earlier if I get tired.”
“Make sure you let me know when you hit your first stop.”
“Yes, Mom,” I tease.
“Shut up.” He shakes his head at me as he makes his way to the sidewalk.
“Hey, Adam.” I pull open the door and pause, my gaze sliding to a few feet in front of my car where my brother is standing. “Thanks for everything,” I say, knowing I don’t need to elaborate whateverythingmeans. I think we both know I’d be in a hell of a lot worse of a place if it weren’t for him letting me stay.
“Keep your head up, little brother,” he tells me, an unspoken moment passing between us.
I nod, not feeling like any more words are needed, before silently slipping into my car.
