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“It’s been a long few days. Let’s just leave it at that.”
“Does it have something to do with why you had to leave town?” I ask.
“Peyton,” he sighs, his hand falling away from my hair.
“You can talk to me, ya know? I think you’ll find I’m a pretty good listener.”
“I thought we agreed what this was.” He shifts beneath me, forcing me to sit up.
“What? Because we’re having sex, we can’t be friends too?” I question, trying to keep the hurt from my voice.
“I didn’t say that.” He props up against the headboard and I swivel to face him, pulling the sheet up around my chest.
“You kind of did. Just not in so many words.” I smile to try to lighten the heavy mood that’s suddenly settled over the room.
I don’t know why he does this. It’s like before and during sex he can’t get enough of me but as soon as it’s over he retreats into that head of his and completely shuts me out.
“It’s just... complicated.”
“And you think I can’t handle complicated?” I cock my head to the side. “Abel, talk to me.” I lay my hand on his thigh, stroking it gently with my thumb.
“We went to see Finley’s mom.” He lets out on a rushed breath.
“We?”
“Me and Claire.”
“Oh, okay.” Even though I know his relationship with Claire is purely platonic, I can’t ignore the jealous twist in my gut just the same.
“We’ve been looking for her for three years, ever since Finley passed.”
“Wait, you didn’t know where she was?”
“Finley’s mom is a drug addict. Has been for years. It’s why Finley moved here. To get away from her and be with her sister. When she got sick, she didn’t want her mom to know. I never really understood why. I mean I did, but I didn’t. She was still her mom, you know?”
“So, she didn’t know...”
“That her daughter had died? No.” He shakes his head. “I hired a P.I. to track her down, but because she didn’t have a real residence and never obtained legitimate employment it was like she didn’t exist. No credit cards, no bank accounts, nothing.”
“So how did you find her?”
“She got arrested on drug possession. That’s why I had to leave so abruptly. I didn’t know how long they would hold her, so I knew my window was limited.” He scratches his jaw where his facial hair has grown from a mild scruff to a short beard. I have to admit; it looks incredible on him.
“Did you see her?” I ask when he doesn’t continue.
“We did.”
“And?”
“And she was exactly who Finley said she was. I don’t know why I had hoped she’d be different. Why I convinced myself that telling her about Finley would somehow make me feel better. In the end it only made me feel worse. It made what she had been through as a child more real. If that makes sense.”
“It makes complete sense. Sometimes you can’t fully understand a situation until you come face to face with it yourself.”
“Exactly.” He blows out a breath. “After we told her I wanted to get out of there.” He looks up, his expression hesitant. “I wanted you.”
“Why do you say that like it’s a bad thing?” I try to pretend like his words don’t affect me, but they do. More than I would ever admit to him.
“It’s not a bad thing. But it terrifies me. The entire flight home you were all I could think about. When I saw you standing in that doorway, I don’t know what came over me. I just needed you.” He gives me an apologetic smile. “I haven’tneededsomeone in a very long time. It’s hard for me.”
