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“Okay.” She gives me a look that says she doesn’t believe me but she’s willing to let it go for now.
“What’s he doing with you?” I gesture to my little brother. “I thought he was at Jared’s for the night.”
“Turns out you weren’t the only one that decided to come home early. He called me a couple of minutes after you did. Since Jared’s house is closer, I swung by and picked him up first.”
“Did you two have a lovers’ quarrel?” I tease, playfully knocking the back of his seat.
“Ha. Ha. You’re so funny.” I know he rolls his eyes even though I can’t see his face. “For your information, Jared wasn’t feeling good.”
“So he kicked you out?” I continue to give him a hard time in an effort to distract myself.
“No.” He grunts. “I decided to leave when he started puking.”
“Eww.” I crinkle my nose. “Probably not a bad idea that you left. You better sanitize your hands and wash your clothes as soon as we get home. I don’t want to end up sick.”
“You’re not going to get sick from my clothes.” He shakes his head, his attention still focused on his phone.
“Germs can live on clothing,” I correct him.
“Alright, you two,” Mom cuts in. “How about we table the germ debate for now. I don’t know about you guys, but it’s been a heck of a day for me. What do you say we swing by the supermarket and pick up some ice cream on the way home?”
“Throw in glazed donuts and I’m in,” Henry chimes in.
“Hope?” My mom meets my gaze in the rearview mirror.
“Ice cream sounds good,” I admit, knowing that if anything can make me feel even remotely better, it’s drowning my sorrows in a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.
——
It’s almost two o’clockin the morning. I’ve tossed and turned for the last two hours, replaying the events of the night over and over in my head.
I don’t know why I can’t seem to shake Alec from my system. He’s just a guy, right? So why does it feel like he’s so much more than just some guy?
Because you’re in love with him...
I try to push the thought away but once it comes to the surface, it immediately takes root.
Do I love him?
It’s only been a few weeks and we’ve barely even seen each other outside of school. Is it possible to fall in love with someone when you feel like you barely even know them?
Throwing back the covers, I sit up. Deciding that there’s no way I’m going to fall asleep anytime soon, I lean over and turn on my bedside lamp before climbing out of bed.
Crossing to my desk along the opposite wall, I slide into the chair and peer out of the window. It’s too dark to see anything but something about the absolute blackness brings me comfort.
Pulling a notebook and pen out of the top drawer, I plop it down in front of me on the desk and flip it open to the first blank page.
Without much thought as to what I’m doing or why, I press the pen to the paper and begin to write.
Dear Alec,
I’m not really sure what to say or why I’m even writing this letter to begin with. My mom said it would help me work through some of the things I’m feeling right now. I’m not sure if that’s true, but I guess I really don’t have much to lose.
Tonight was homecoming. I didn’t want to go, but for some reason I agreed to it. As much as I regret going, I’m glad I did. Because there was this moment, this one brief moment when you looked down at me and it was as if nothing else in the world existed. I’m sure it didn’t feel that way for you, but for me it was everything. Because in that moment you were almost mine. But then Lulu interrupted us and my almost quickly faded back to never.
I’m in love with you. There I said it. Crazy, I know. I have no idea how or when it happened. Maybe it was tonight, as you held me in your arms. Maybe it happened before that. Maybe it was the very first time I laid eyes on you.
I still remember that day like it was yesterday. I was so focused on picking up my books that I didn’t even look at you. If only I had known what was standing in front of me... And then there’s the moment I finally looked up. Well, that’s when everything changed. I’ve never felt anything like it before. The instant pull to another person. It was like my heart knew it was destined to love you even before my brain did.
