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“Yes, I was with Lucy. And yes, I cared about her very much. But she isn’t you, Hope. Don’t you get it? That’s why we could never work. Because she will never be you.” I grab her hand and pull her back into my arms.
It’s only seconds before my lips find hers again, and while I expect to find some resistance, there is none.
I nip at her bottom lip, pulling it into my mouth as I suck and kiss, needing to taste every ounce of her.
My body moves on its own accord as I lift Hope, her legs wrapping around my waist. Walking backward with her pinned to me, I push the door shut. With her pinned against the painted wood, I flip the lock into place.
I trail kisses across her jaw, down the side of her neck, sliding my tongue along the curve of her collarbone. She arches into my touch, her hand sliding into the back of my hair.
“Wait.” Hope’s airy voice breaks into my haze. “We can’t.”
I pull back, not able to think of anything I want to do less.
“We can’t. You just broke up with Lulu a couple of weeks ago. I can’t be that friend. I can’t.” She shakes her head. “I won’t.”
My shoulders sag forward as I step back, knowing that she’s right but wishing that she wasn’t. If something were to happen between us, she’d never forgive herself. I know her well enough to know how loyal she is to the people close to her.
“I’m sorry,” I mutter, wishing I could change things. Wishing I could go back and do all this differently.
“Me too.” She gives me a sad smile, straightening the material of her shirt.
“Maybe after a little time has passed?” I offer, grasping at straws because deep down I know she’s about to tell me goodbye and I don’t think I can handle that right now.
“It’s too late, Alec. If not because of Lulu, then because of everything else. You’re leaving for California tomorrow and when you get back...”
“You won’t be here.”
“You know?”
“Your mom told me. She thought I already knew.” I exhale through my nose. “Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?”
“Because I didn’t want you to look at me the way you’re looking at me right now.”
“And how am I looking at you?”
“Like I doused your favorite shirt in a bucket of bleach.”
“What?” I can’t help but chuckle at her analogy, despite the heaviness of the moment.
“Shut up.” She swats her hand through the air. “You know what I mean.”
“Not exactly how I would have described it, but yes, I know what you mean.”
“I didn’t think I’d get in. We made plans. And then I got the call. I didn’t know how to tell anyone. Lulu doesn’t even know.”
“She’s going to be just as happy for you as I am, Hope. Because she loves you. And so do I. I love you, Hope.”
“Alec.”
I hold my hands up to stop her from saying more.
“I get all the reasons why we can’t be together.I do.But that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you walk out of my life. You should know me better than that.”
“I want you in my life... Always. But this.” She gestures between us. “This can’t happen. No matter how much I wish it could.”
“I know.” I blow out another heavy breath.
“I need you to leave, Alec.”
