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“Wrong hole,” I manage to choke out, clearing my throat a few more times.
“I didn’t intend on making you choke.” I’m not sure by his expression if he’s more worried or amused by my reaction.
“It’s fine. I’m fine. You just caught me off guard.” I force a smile, clearing my throat again. “Is there a reason why you’re asking me this?” As much as I don’t want to answer, I want to know why he’s asking even more.
“It’s stupid.” He shakes his head.
“Not an answer.” I don’t let him off so easily.
“I ran into JR the other day coming out of the hardware store. We got to talking. The last real interaction we had was at prom, so naturally the topic came up. He made a comment about that night. About how you went back to his house after because his parents weren’t home. But you told me and Lucy you were going home.”
“I was going to go home, but he suggested we go back to his place and I thought it sounded like fun.”
I leave out the part where that night was the beginning of the end for me and JR. It became apparently clear before I even left his house that I’d made a mistake. And not because he did anything wrong, but because it was exactly as I expected it would be. Dry. Emotionless. The exact opposite of what I wanted my first time to be like.
“So you slept with him?”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, I did.” My forehead furrows. “Surely Lulu told you as much.”
I don’t know why, but I assumed when I told Lulu about my night with JR that she would have told Alec.
“Actually, she didn’t.”
“I’m confused. Why are we talking about this again?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. After JR made that comment about you guys going back to his house it’s kind of been eating at me ever since. And I guess it kind of bothers me, knowing that you had done that with him and not told me. We were friends, weren’t we?”
“Alec, no offense, but when have we ever talked about stuff like that? You and Lulu started sleeping together a month into your relationship and it’s not like you ever told me.”
“I know. I just... Fuck, I don’t know.” He runs a hand through his hair.
“Wait.” The realization of what’s happening here smacks me right in the face. “Are you jealous?”
“Of course I’m jealous.” He makes no qualms about admitting it. “I know it sounds stupid, but I always liked to imagine that you’d never been with someone like that before.”
“You realize JR isn’t the only guy I’ve slept with, right?” I don’t know why I volunteer this information. Maybe it’s because I don’t see a reason not to. Or maybe it’s because I like the look that crosses his face when I do. A mix between hurt and anger.
It’s horrible of me, I know that. But having lived with that same jealousy and anger for most of our friendship, it feels good to be able to dish it back. And then there’s also the excitement...the thrill I get knowing I have the power to make him jealous.
Jesus, what is wrong with me?
“And I’m guessing Lulu isn’t the only girl you’ve slept with. I bet you’ve slept with countless people.”
“Countless?” He gawks at me. “Is that how you see me? Some guy who goes around sleeping with random women?”
“Have you looked in the mirror lately? Why wouldn’t you?”
“So am I to assume the same thing about you? That you run around sleeping with random guys?”
“What?” I draw back.
“There’s no way you don’t have guys falling at your feet with every turn. Hell, I’ve seen it happen. So if I’m using your logic, then I guess I’m left to assume that you’re just as promiscuous as you’re accusing me of being.”
“Um, okay. One, no one has ever fallen at my feet.” I hold up a finger. “And two, for your information, I’ve only slept with a total of two people.” I hold up a second finger. I don’t feel the need to add that the second wasn’t all that long ago with Darren, who I still see every single day. “And three, I wasn’t trying to offend you. It’s just, you’re a guy, a really,reallygood-looking guy. I guess I just figured...”
He cuts me off before I can finish. “You were always the most unobservant person.”
“What are you talking about?” I don’t try to hide my confusion.
