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“I’m not doing this here,” she mouths.
“Well we’re doing it somewhere because I’m not leaving here until we talk.”
The look she gives me is a mix between frustration and pain.
“Fine. But not now.”
“Then when?”
“Just not now.” She whips her head back in the direction of her brother and starts talking to him about his upcoming graduation.
I’m pulled into a conversation with Todd and Josh, both of whom I played basketball with Senior year. Josh has remained local and we’ve met up a few times to hang out. But Todd is attending college a couple hours away and this is the first time I’ve seen him since high school.
I do my best to push the anxiousness in my gut down and try to enjoy catching up with him and some of the other people I haven’t seen in a while, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to keep my thoughts on the conversation.
It’s impossible with Hope sitting next to me, her sweet scent dancing in my nose. All I want to do is reach under the table and hold her hand. Pull her close to me and breathe her in more deeply. Press a kiss to her lips without a care in the world who sees or what they think.
Instead, I’m forced to suffer in silence, hoping that before the night is up I will have the answers I have so desperately needed this past year.
I laugh and cheer along with everyone else as Bella and Chuck shove cake in each other’s faces. I smile and try to ignore the quell of emotion in my chest as they share their first dance, remembering the first time I danced with Hope at the Spring Formal. I may not have understood my feelings for her at the time, but looking back I know they’ve always been there, lying dormant in hopes that one day she would feel the same way.
Little did I know, she did.
There are so many things I wish I could go back and do differently. So many obstacles that could have been avoided had I known how she felt. But I was a kid, and truthfully, I think I was scared of how I felt about her.
Lucy was the easier choice. She pursued me. It was so much simpler. But when you go against your heart, eventually it comes back to bite you. And did it ever.
I turn toward Hope as the wedding party enters the dance floor and the DJ invites everyone to join them.
“Dance with me.” It’s not a question.
“Alec.” She blows out a puff of air through her soft pink painted lips.
“Please, Russell.” I try to entice her by using the nickname I used to call her. “Dance with me.”
I can see the indecision in her eyes, the uncertainty, so suffice it to say, when she nods and stands, I damn near about fall right out of my chair.
Clamoring to my feet, I offer her my arm, which, again to my surprise, she takes. Probably because she doesn’t want to raise any suspicion with the people sitting around us. But whatever the reason, I salivate in the small victory.
When we reach the dance floor, I tug Hope into my arms and for the first time in a year, I feel home. I pull her in closer, pressing my cheek to her temple as we begin to sway to the slow, melodic tune.
“I’ve missed you,” I tell her, cinching my fingers at her waist.
“I’ve missed you too.” Her voice shakes slightly.
“You could have fooled me,” I counter. “In fact, given this past year and the way you’ve acted toward me today, I’d venture to say that this is the last place you want to be right now.”
She pulls her head back and looks up at me, the magnitude of her beauty causing my knees to shake.
“You’re right. This is the last place I want to be.” She sees my expression drop, and she quickly continues, “But it’s also exactly where I want to be.”
“What happened, Hope? What happened in New York?”
“You know what happened,” she says softly, averting her gaze.
“Look at me,” I demand, waiting until her eyes come back to mine before continuing. “What happened after I left? Why did you send me that text and then ghost me?”
“I didn’t ghost you.”
