AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Ihavemade a decision. Me and Lu are finally speaking again. I can’t re-involve myself with Alec. Not knowing how badly it hurt her the first time.”
“Listen, I get it. And I love that you care so much about your friendship with her, but at some point you have to be a little selfish if you hope to find a semblance of happiness in this life.”
“I was selfish. That’s what got me into this whole mess.”
“Please,” she sputters. “You don’t have a selfish bone in your body.”
“No?” I question, thinking she couldn’t be further from the truth. “Maybe if it was your ex-boyfriend I had slept with you wouldn’t feel that way.”
“Hell, if you slept with one of my ex-boyfriends I’d probably thank you for getting him off my back.”
“Yeah right,” I mutter.
“I’m serious. If he’s an ex of mine then there’s a reason for it.”
“But Lulu loves Alec.”
“Does she? I meanreally. It’s been how long since they were together? Are you sure she actually loves him or just the idea of him?”
“The idea of him?”
“No offense, but I’ve known girls like Lucy before. The kind that need to be everyone’s number one in order to feel validated. Maybe she’s holding onto Alec because deep down she’s always felt threatened by how close the two of you are.”
“I doubt that. Lulu is a lot of things, but she’s not someone who would stand in the way of my happiness over some competitive need to beat me.”
“You sure about that?”
Am I?
To be honest, I’m not. And while a part of me balks at the idea that Lulu could ever be so petty, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t asked myself the same question multiple times over the last year.
I think back on our friendship. To all the times when Lu didn’t have any interest in something until I did. But the fact still remains that Alec was hers first. It wasn’t like she stole him from me.
Except she kind of did.
I shake off the small inner voice that dares to speak.
“It doesn’t really matter.”
“No? Because from where I’m sitting, it seems to matter to you. When are you going to get over this idea of who you are supposed to be and embrace who you are?”
“And who is that, exactly?”
“A girl who’s spent the last four years running.”
“I haven’t been running.”
“Actually, you have. You told me so yourself. The main reason you chose to come to New York was to get away from Alec because you didn’t trust that you could fight your feelings for him after him and Lucy broke up.”
“C.I.A. was my dream school,” I interject.
“I know, as you’ve said many times. But what if things had been different? What if Lucy and Alec were never a couple? Would you have left Missouri?”
“Probably.”
“You don’t sound so sure.” She gives me a sideways glance.
“I don’t know what I would have done. Not that it really matters because Lulu and Alecweretogether.”
