AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Instead, I hit send on the simple reply and relax further into my seat.
Now that I’m back in the States it all feels real again. Lulu and how quickly our friendship imploded. Alec and how we left things and how little we talked while I was away.
I thought I was doing the right thing at the time by cutting myself off from everything and everyone. But now that I’m back, I think maybe I was just avoiding what needed to be done.
It’s pretty clear I can’t have both Lulu and Alec in my life. And truthfully, I’m not ready to let either of them go. So, for the past year, or really even longer than that, I’ve been sitting at a crossroad, afraid that no matter which way I turn I’ll end up at the wrong destination.
In an effort to distract myself, I ask Sophie about her beau, which is a sure-fire way to get her talking about herself. At least for a little while. Luckily for me, that does the trick and I’m able to turn my mind off and listen to her ramble on for the better part of thirty minutes.
Sophie has been a god send these last few years. When I first met her, I wasn’t sure how well we’d get along. But by the end of our first week living together, I absolutely adored her. She has been there through everything that’s happened with Alec, and I value her opinion more than she will ever know. But, I’m also very different from Soph. She has a ‘grab life by the balls’ type of attitude, whereas I’m more of a ‘go with the flow and see where life takes me’ kind of person. But for all of our differences, she has been the friend that I sorely needed, especially after I ruined my almost ten-year friendship with Lulu in one quick swoop.
A part of me is angry with Lucy, though I don’t really think I have the right to be. I like to think that if the shoe were on the other foot, I would have supported her no matter what. Haven’t I always? Even when she got something I wanted, I always put on a smile and swallowed my feelings. If she was happy, that’s all I cared about, at the end of the day. To not get the same support from her was a hard pill to swallow. Then again, I crossed a line that most would deem unforgivable, so I guess I should count myself lucky that she’s even speaking to me at all.
More than anything, I miss her. I miss our friendship. I miss laughing and talking until all hours of the night. I miss picking up the phone and calling her when something exciting happened. Or having her tell me everything will be okay when I’ve had a rough day.
For all her faults, Luluismy best friend. No, she’s more than that. She’s my sister. And I feel the void of her a hell of a lot more than I ever thought possible.
And then there’s Alec. The man that has plagued my thoughts since the first moment I laid eyes on him. Despite everything that’s happened, I still love him. I know it deep in my bones. What I feel for him is not something that can be easily escaped. I’ve tried.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get over him...or if I even want to. But I also know I can’t lose Lulu either. And again, here lies the true problem. I can’t have Alec without losing Lucy. And I can’t be friends with Lucy knowing she’s the person keeping me from Alec.
It’s like a catch twenty-two and I’m stuck right in the middle not able to move.
“Earth to Hope. Come in, Hope.” I break my gaze from the window and look back at Sophie.
“Huh?” I question, having not realized she was talking to me.
“I asked if you wanted to stop and get a bite to eat. You must be hungry.”
“Starving actually,” I admit now that I think about it.
“My apartment is only about twenty more minutes from here, but I don’t think I have anything good to eat there. Unless milk and saltine crackers sound good.” She laughs when I crinkle my nose. “That’s what I thought.” She flips on her turn signal and veers into the right lane. “There are a few restaurants off the next exit. Anything you’re in the mood for?”
“I’m good with whatever.” I shrug. “Just no fast food.”
“What do you have against fast food?”
“Nothing. But after spending a year in Italy, eating some of the finest cuisines you can imagine, I don’t want my first meal in the States to be some reheated grease trap that probably has a hair in it, or worse, made by a staff member who doesn’t wear gloves while preparing it.”
“Wow. I didn’t realize a year abroad would make you so snooty.”
“I’m not snooty. I just have higher standards now.”
“Well that makes one of us.” She takes the exit and turns again at the stop sign. “I, for one, love me a good grease filled cheeseburger.” She stops at a red light and points in front of us. “How aboutThe Breakfast Shack? Certainly you haven’t formed an adversity to eggs and pancakes.”
“Eggs and pancakes would be fine.” I laugh, rolling my eyes at her.
