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Chapter
Twenty-Seven
I keep myself as busy as possible during my shift but that doesn't mean that I don't make an excuse to wander up to the front every now and again to see if Bentley is there. Through two dances and three floor shifts, I have not spotted him once and honestly, it bothers me a hell of a lot more than I care to admit.
As I take the stage for my third and final dance of the night, I decide to push Bentley as far out of my head as possible. He has no obligation to me and as such, I have no right to be angry over the fact that clearly something is going on and I am being left completely in the dark. Only deep down, I know I am more worried about what he is doing with Cora right now than anything.
Is he whispering sweet nothings into her ear, asking her to be his? Is he pushing her against the wall and fucking her or does he prefer the desk instead? These are the little things that eat at me and for the life of me, I can't seem to cope with.
This is why I avoid relationships. This is why I stick to sex. Sex is so much easier. It's passion and want, desire and lust, all wrapped up into one fucking perfect concoction. Why did I think I would get anywhere straying from what I know?
As Demi Lovato's “Heart Attack” fills the air, I take the stage with new purpose. As each word dances around me, I convince myself that I don't care. That I feel nothing for Bentley. That I don't care if he is fucking her right now and confessing his undying love to her. They can have each other for all I care.
Losing myself in the words, in the rhythm, I work the stage more enthusiastically than normal, making eye contact and running my hands along my body in a way that makes every man feel like I am doing it just for him. Because right now, that's exactly what I'm doing.
I am reminding myself of who I am. Of who I love to be. Sexual, strong, independent, but most importantly, free. When I exit the stage as the song wraps up, I lose my ability to be tactful any longer. Bentley has been in that office with Cora for over two hours at this point and I am ready to show him that I couldn't care less.
Heading backstage, I quickly change, cringing slightly when Bentley's smell engulfs me. Having been in his arms all day, most of his cologne must have transferred to my shirt in the process. The thought sends an ache through me that I am not prepared to feel. I take a deep breath and a long look in my vanity mirror before exiting my room and going in search of Bentley.
Cutting through the back, I enter the main entrance foyer just moments later, immediately heading towards the office. I have no intentions of knocking but before I have the chance to barge in, Malcolm's voice halts my actions.
“He's not in there.” He says, pulling my attention to where he is standing next to the front door.
“Where did he go?” I ask, trying to keep my tone even like I don't really care one way or another.
“He left with Cora a little over an hour ago.” He says, his voice apologetic which makes the blow that much harder to take. The last thing I want is for people to feel bad for me. I did this to myself. I have no one to blame but myself.
“If he happens to come back at some point, will you let him know I found my own way home please.” I say, waiting for his nod before spinning on my heel and walking away.
I am too proud to ask anyone for help, so knowing I have no way home, the moment I step outside, I head in the direction of the only place I know to go. The dance studio. It's well after two in the morning so calling Patty is out of the question and honestly, I really just need some time alone to process things.
I cut along the back of the building, planning to take the shortcut down Jefferson but my steps are immediately halted when I spot Bentley and Cora just a few feet in front of me standing next to a red car that I can only assume belongs to her, since I don't make it a habit of knowing what everyone drives.
Their voices are low and muffled but getting any closer is simply not an option. From where I am standing, I am completely covered in darkness. Neither one of them can see me therefore neither know that I am here. Like watching a movie in slow motion, I see it all unfold in front of my eyes. I watch as she leans into him, but I can't make out her expression to figure out what's going on. The only thing I know is that when she pushes up on her tiptoes and presses her lips to his, he doesn't push her away and honestly, that's all I need to see.
Turning swiftly, I run directly into Josh just as he exits the back entrance, clearly startled by our collision. “Logan.” He jumps, taking a step back. “What are you doing?” He manages to get out before I hold my hand over his mouth to silence him.
“Drive me home.” I plead, not looking in Bentley's direction. I have no idea if he has figured out that I am here or if he even cares. All I know is that if I don't get the hell out of here right now, I very well may completely melt down in front of everyone.
“Logan...” He starts but I cut him off again.
“Take me home.” I insist, seeing the moment his eyes register what the hell is going on. He looks out behind me and then back down at me, his expression softening the moment it all becomes clear.
“Let's go.” He says, leading me to the right side of the parking lot, away from where Bentley and Cora are currently standing. Josh waits until I climb into the passenger seat before firing the engine to life. The moment the headlights kick on, I can see Bentley and Cora plain as day, only they aren't kissing this time. Both turn their heads towards Josh's vehicle but knowing there is no way they can see me, given the headlights are pointed right at them, I relax a little as Josh pulls out of his spot and makes his way towards the exit.
I don't look back in their direction again, my head collapsing on the head rest as Josh pulls out into the empty night street. “Can you drop me atPW Dance Studioon Franklin?” I ask, not looking in Josh's direction but rather, staring out at the scenery passing outside of my window.
“Logan.” Josh starts but I immediately cut him off.
“I don't want to hear an I told you so right now Josh.” I snap, turning my head inwards to face him. He gives me a soft smile before turning his attention back to the road.
“I wasn't going to.” He says. “I was just going to ask if you are okay. What happened?” He asks, seeming genuinely concerned.
“I'm fine. Nothing happened. I just thought I had something figured out but quickly realized I was wrong.” I say, crossing my arms in front of my chest, a chill running through my body despite the warm night air.
“You know you can tell me. I won't judge.” He offers, turning left and then right, closing in on the studio.
“I know and I appreciate that. But I'm fine. Really.” I reassure him, reaching out to rest my hand on his forearm as he pulls the jeep to a stop outside of the studio.
