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I think on that for a long moment, knowing she’s probably right. At the time I let myself believe that he hated me enough that he was willing to throw Wes under the bus just to stick it to me. But now, I don’t know. Things are different somehow.
Not that I’ve spoken to him since the almost kiss in his room last night – which I one hundred percent blame on the whiskey – but everything just feels different. Like we’ve crossed some invisible line and who we were—who we’ve always been—has started to change.
“Yeah,” I murmur, kneading my bottom lip with my teeth as the wheels in my head continue to turn. “I guess it doesn’t much matter. Because Atlas does whatever Atlas wants to do and it doesn’t have to mean anything. Case in point, the woman he had half naked on my couch the very next day.”
“Did you ever consider maybe that was for show?”
“What do you mean?”
“Kind of weird that the day after he kisses you, he makes a show of getting it on with some chick in a place he knows you’ll catch him.”
“That would imply he cares enough to try to make me jealous and we both know Atlas isn’t capable of caring about anyone but himself.”
“You sure about that?”
“A hundred million percent.”
“So, just for the record, were you jealous?”
“No.” But I answer way too quickly.
“You know it’s okay if you were, Bar.”
“But I wasn’t.” My words lose some of their conviction.
“You’re a shit liar.” Zoe barks out a laugh. “Just remember, when you’re ready to admit to yourself what you’re really feeling, I’m here.”
“Not gonna happen. I don’t care how good looking he is, or how good of a kisser he is, nothing makes up for his serious personality flaws. Thanks, but no thanks.”
“So, you think he’s a good kisser?” I can hear the smile in her voice and immediately realize my mistake.
“Zoe...” I blow out a heavy breath.
“Okay. Okay.” She laughs. “Clearly you need time on this one. But listen, I seriously want a full report of everything that happens from now until the next time we talk. Deal?”
“Deal,” I agree, knowing full well there won’t be one damn thing worth filling her in on.
Just because I forced Atlas to agree to a truce doesn’t mean we’re going to be hanging out or anything. It just means that hopefully we won’t want to rip each other’s throats out every time we’re in the same room. Or if we do, we’ll keep it to ourselves. I did this for my own sanity and for that of my brother’s. It wasn’t for Atlas...
Don’t get me wrong, the shit I said about his father did make me feel pretty bad. Which is why no more than seconds after I had gotten home from work, I was knocking on his door like the idiot I am.
My mind swirls back to how he looked when that door swung open. His eyes glazed. His hair disheveled. His torso bare. God, just thinking about it makes my cheeks flush.
His room was in shambles. The scent of whiskey lingered in the air. And based on the wild look in his eyes, I’d say he was barely hanging on by a thread.
I should have said sorry, closed the door, and walked away. Then maybe I wouldn’t be sitting here obsessing over everything he did. Everything he said.
“With you there’s only two options. Fight with you or fuck you. There’s no in between. And we both know I can’t do the latter.”
A chill runs straight down my spine, remembering the way his breath danced across my lips as he said those words.
“Bar, did you hear me?” It takes me a long moment to realize the phone is still pressed to my ear, Zoe on the other end.
I shake my head.
“Sorry, you broke up there.” It’s the first bullshit excuse that pops into my head. “What did you say?”
“I said I’m walking into the venue.”
