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“I’m sorry.” Two words I never expected to hear come out of Mateo’s mouth hit my ears. “I wish there were another way. I wish I could let you go. I wish I never had to involve you in any of this to begin with.”
“Then why did you?” I roll to my side and so does he. We’re facing each other with the short few feet of the boat between us.
“You know why.”
“Do I? Because I’m not sure I do. You brought me here to flush my father out. Yet it’s been almost two weeks and where is he? I think you overestimated his affection for a daughter that is nothing more than a stranger to him.”
“I didn’t,” he says with complete confidence.
“Then what’s taking him so long? Why hasn’t he come for me?”
“He’s trying to figure out a way to save you both. It’s a move I had anticipated. A man like Esteban Herrera doesn’t just hand himself over. I knew it would take time.”
“Time.” I snort. “For all he knows I could be suffering daily beatings while your men take turns feasting on me, and he’s taking his time.”
I don’t miss the way his features darken at my words.
“I’m not my father, and Esteban knows it. That’s why he sent his men in his place. He claimed it was to confirm that the woman I had in my possession was in fact his daughter and that he wasn’t walking into a trap. He already knew it was you. In reality, he was trying to call my bluff. That’s why I put my hands on you. He has to believe that I’m willing to let you die in his place if my demands aren’t met.”
“And are you?” I ask, hesitating. “Are you willing to let me die for him?”
“It won’t come to that.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because it won’t.” He rolls onto his back, his gaze once again going to the sky.
“Well I hope for both our sakes you’re right,” I murmur.
“Had you been taken by anyone else, this would be a much different situation. I operate under a different set of rules than most.” He pauses, pulling in a slow breath. “I may not have gotten that many years with my mother, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t teach me anything before she died. She used to always say, ‘in this world you must be two men. The one who does what he has to do to survive. And the one that can live with himself when it’s all said and done.’ I’ve spent my entire life trying to find that balance. The balance between the man my mother wanted me to be and the soldier my father trained me to be.”
I get the feeling that this is a rare glimpse at Mateo that not many people get to see.
“She sounds like an amazing woman.” It feels strange knowing that it was my father who took her away from him.
“She was.” His head turns slowly, his eyes once again finding mine. “You actually remind me a great deal of her.”
“I do?” My voice catches in my throat.
He nods slowly.
“She was a small woman but she never let that stop her. She would go toe to toe with a man twice her size and not think twice about it. She had the fierce mouth of a viper but the gentle touch that only a woman can possess. She wasn’t someone to give her heart easily, but when she did, she loved with everything that she had. I still don’t know what she saw in my father, but looking back, they always made sense. She was the calm to his storm. The beacon that ensured he always found his way home. He changed a lot after she died. But I guess losing the woman you love will do that to a man.”
“What else do you remember about her?”
“I remember that she used to sing when she thought no one was watching. And that she loved to read. And I remember how every night before bed she’d kiss both of my cheeks. Then she’d whisper in my eartú eres el especial.”
“What does it mean?”
“You are the special one.” A sad smile tugs at his lips. “Even back then she believed I’d be the one to change everything. If only she could see me now.”
He falls silent for a long moment and as much as I want to push for more information, I resist the urge to do so.
“I wish I could remember my mom,” I say, more to myself than to him. “Do you know much about her?”
“A little.”
“Like what?” I prop up on my elbow, giving him my full attention.
