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“Can we not do this here?” Westin looks around, clearly noticing our audience as well.
Without a word, I whip around and start walking again. For a moment, I consider breaking out into a run and simply trying to escape him, though I doubt he would let me get away that easily.
I can hear Westin's footsteps behind me, feel his presence, but I continue to keep my eyes forward. I don't have any real destination; I just know we need to settle this once and for all and doing so in the middle of town is not the best idea.
We walk for quite a while toward the shoreline. I don't know how much time passes in silence. Westin stays a good distance behind me, and I somehow manage to not turn around every five seconds to see if he's still there.
By the time I stop, I'm next to a bike trail that leads to the shoreline. I can see the water in the distance and as much as I would love to run toward it, I know my time of avoiding Westin is over.
He steps up beside me, his eyes on the water. I flick my gaze toward him, and for a moment stare at his profile, at the curve of his jawline, and the scruff on his face. And for the smallest fraction of time, I forget why I'm angry. Why I can't be with this beautiful man standing next to me. Then he turns to face me.
The moment his blue eyes hit mine, it all comes back. The lies and pain of our past. The lies and pain of our present. The realization that no matter how beautiful and perfect this man seems, he is anything but.
“I’m so sorry about Kate.” His expression remains unreadable as his eyes scan my face. “I should have told you about her right from the start.”
I turn back out to face the water, wishing it were closer, wishing I could walk into it and disappear. When I finally speak, I don't face him. I keep my eyes on the water, hoping in some small way it will give me strength.
“Is that supposed to make everything okay?” I ask, my voice weaker than I want it to be.
“Scarlett, you have to understand,” he says, wrapping his hand around my forearm and turning me to face him.
“Understand what?” This time my voice reflects my anger. “Understand that you lied to me... again?”
“It's not that simple.” He blows out a hard breath.
“No? Well then enlighten me, Westin. Because I have a really hard time believing it's not exactly as I see it. I think the situation is pretty cut and dry.”
“I never wanted to marry her, Scarlett. Fuck!” His voice echoes through the air as he roughly pushes his hands through his hair. “I never wanted to marry her. I don't love her,” he repeats, this time his voice dropping to more of a plead than a yell.
“Then why were you planning to?” I ask, the anger temporarily slipping from my voice. The need to know the truth somehow outweighing my teetering emotions.
“Think about it, Scar.” He looks at me in a way that tells me I should already know. Suddenly, like someone has flipped a light switch, the answer flashes in front of my face in big neon letters.
“My father,” I say in disbelief, shaking my head as I take a step backward. “My father?” It comes out as a question this time, as I search Westin's face for some type of real explanation.
“You know how Jonathan Ryan can be. Kate also works at the firm. She's like a daughter to him.” He doesn’t miss the way I flinch at his words.
“What does that have to do with you?” I ask, still not connecting the dots.
“He wanted her and me to become the future ofRyan and Associates. To lead the firm together. Husband and wife. Partners in all aspects of life. At first I was completely against the idea, but then over time it started to make sense.” Apology and regret lace his handsome face.
“He said he would make you partner. Was that part of the deal? Partner and you live the life he creates for you? Is that how it works? You get everything but only on his terms? And you actually chose that?”
“I chose wrong,” he says, taking a step toward me.
When I make no attempt to step away, he closes the remaining distance between us, reaching out and taking my face in his hands.
“Scarlett, I chose wrong. I don't love Kate. I got caught up in the power, the money. I never loved her. I never wanted to be with her. Which is why I didn't tell you- it seemed irrelevant. I want to be with you. I knew the moment you came back into my life that every choice I made without you was the wrong choice. And I realized something very important last weekend. I had become the epitome of what you despise about your father. I was afraid to tell you about Kate. I was afraid if you saw me for who I had become, that you would look at me the way you are looking at me right now. With hatred and betrayal. But I haven't betrayed you, Scarlett. I haven’t.” He’s pleading. “I see my mistakes now. You’ve opened my eyes. You made me see how far I had fallen. I just haven't had enough time to make things right.” He exhales loudly when I push his hands away from my face.
“Then who are you, Westin? Really? Because it sounds to me like youarethe person you claim not to be. How can I believe that anything you are saying is the truth? You have proven that you are more like my father than even you care to admit. And if there is one thing I know about men like Jonathan Ryan, it's that they can never be trusted.”
“But I'm not like him. Deep down I know I could never do the things that he has done to get to where he is. I was blinded by the money and success and everything he promised me. I grew up with nothing, Scar. You know that. Suddenly, I had everything I had ever dreamed of. Or at least I thought I did. Until...”
“Until?” I look up into his eyes, searching, trying desperately to find the man I know is in there somewhere. Or at least the man I hope is in there.
“Until I saw you at the wedding.” He reaches out to take my hands in his, and for some reason I let him. “The moment I laid eyes on you again, Scarlett, I knew. I knew that I had simply been trying to fill the void that was left gaping open the day I let you go, the day I left.”
I don't know if I want to laugh, scream, cry, or all of the above. My emotions feel spread all over the place and I’m having trouble processing everything that’s happening.
