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Chapter Fourteen
It's been six dayssince I left California. Six of the most painful days of my life. I can't eat. I barely sleep. I swear Kari is seconds away from buying me out of the business and washing her hands of me.
I’m failing. I have failed. Every aspect of my life, my independence, everything I built for myself. Gone. Just like that. Jonathan Ryan used the only thing he had against me, the one man who held the power to destroy everything I worked so hard for.
I’m hurting so deeply, and I have no idea how to pull myself out of it. And to make matters worse, I have been pretty sick for the past couple of days. What little food I have eaten has managed to make its way back up within minutes of digestion. It got so bad yesterday that I couldn't even keep water down.
Luckily, my doctor was able to give me something for the nausea, but not before poking me with needles and testing me for every illness under the sun. While I feel a little bit better today, my body is weak and even getting out of bed feels like an extreme workout.
No matter how rough I feel, I know that I can't continue hiding out in my apartment. I have to distract myself. Find a way to keep myself busy.
After finally finding the strength to make it to the shower and managing to keep down a piece of toast, I head downstairs.
When I reach the kitchen, Maria is busy making a few different trays ofLayersfamous Christmas crème wraps. It's something Kari and I started our first Christmas here and decided to make a tradition for the holidays.
Even though Christmas is a month away, the holiday season is in the air. Just another reason that I have to feel angry about my situation. I love the holidays. The lights, the carolers, the sweets. I love everything about it. But this year, I honestly couldn't care less.
“Oh, hi.” Maria jumps when she realizes I'm behind her.
“Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you,” I say, crossing the kitchen and grabbing the orders folder from the far counter where Kari keeps it.
“You look better. Are you feeling okay?” she asks, pulling a batch of crème rolls from the oven before sliding in a new batch.
“A little.” I shrug as I thumb through the various orders Kari has scribbled down that need to be made. Nothing too time sensitive, but definitely enough to give me some things to work on. I know that in the upcoming weeks things will get really busy. Christmas is our busiest time of the year, for obvious reasons.
Kari walks into the kitchen and stalls the moment she sees me. “Hey. I didn't think you would be in today.” She drapes her arm across my shoulder as soon as she reaches me.
“I had to get out of there.” I point up toward my apartment.
“Good for you.” She gives me a squeeze before letting her arm drop.
“Kari...” I say, turning to face her.
“Don't you dare say thank you or that you're sorry. You are my family and I love you. You never have to thank me for that.”
Her words immediately bring tears to my eyes and I don't hesitate to wrap my arms around her and pull her into a hug. “I love you.”
She smiles at me when I step back.
“And I love you. I know that things are hard right now. But Scar, it will get better. I just want to make sure you give yourself time to heal, both mentally and physically. Speaking of which, how are you feeling?”
“I'm fine. The nausea medicine is helping. And as far as everything else, I’ll get there. I just feel so all over the place right now,” I admit.
“Let me know if you need anything.” She kisses the side of my forehead before turning to head into the office.
“I will,” I say to her backside before turning back to the orders.
I bury myself in my work for the next four hours, barely taking notice of anything going on around me. It isn't until my phone rings, just after three in the afternoon, that I actually look up to check the time.
Knowing that it’s probably Westin, I don't bother glancing at the number and let it go to voicemail. Because apparently teaming up with my father wasn't enough, I guess calling me every day and reminding me of the hell I’m currently in because of him is his way of an apology. Thanks for that.
At this point, I can't see a way back. He crossed the ultimate line. A line that I didn't even know he was capable of crossing. I can't forgive. No matter how many apologies I get. Maybe one day I can stomach an explanation, but right now? Well, I just want to regain some sense of normalcy in my life and put everything behind me.
Kari comes in right after seven to tell me she's leaving and that the front is locked up. I say my goodbyes and continue working on a cake for the local elementary school’s holiday pageant.
It isn't due for three days, and I know that I’ll have to remake it to assure freshness, but I wanted something to do so I figured it could be a test run. Worst case, if my stomach decides to accept food, I can bury my sorrows in a couple pounds of yellow cake and cream cheese icing that will die my tongue so green it will probably stay that way through the holidays.
I don't retire back to my apartment until well after ten. The moment I walk through the door, the silence swallows me like a blanket of loneliness. My stomach twists and everything that I have managed to push to the back of my mind for the last few hours is now resurfacing tenfold.
