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“You need to tell me what the hell is really going on.”
“I will tell you what is necessary in order for you to do your job.”
“If that’s all I am to you, another employee that you’ll flush out of your system, then why am I here?”
I didn’t need any light to know he was incensed by my question. His body language made a loud statement, his breathing rapid. When he finally answered me, his words were a reminder of our extreme chemistry. “You’re much more than that.”
I exhaled, unable to take the flash of scenery whizzing by. There was low visibility other than what his headlights highlighted. My heart was in my throat, every nerve standing on end. There was no sense in peppering him with questions. It was obvious he wasn’t ready to talk.
If he ever would be.
The water bottle was cool to the touch. I finally placed the flashlight onto the floor, cracking open the bottle, guzzling down a solid third. Nothing had ever tasted so good. “Do you want some?” I asked, realizing he’d only brought a single bottle with him.
“I’m fine.”
No, you’re not.I dared not say the words.
I closed my eyes, trying to calm my nerves. What I found amazing was that after the near death experience, the fact he’d ignored all practicality by racing into a burning home didn’t seem to faze him. It was as if he’d lost all sense of the fear of danger after Carmine’s death. Maybe that was the reason for his ruthless ways. Even more confusing was that I couldn’t be angry with him. I’d been driven to walk by his side into the blazing fire as if I’d been able to place my trust in him. At least that was somewhat comforting.
Clenching my fists, I bit my lower lip to keep from moaning. While I should feel out of control from my heightened emotions, the deep longing that kept me breathless around him, and the understanding I could have died in that fire for my impetuous behavior, that wasn’t the case. I felt excited, as if standing on the edge of the precipice was exactly where I needed to be.
His grip remained firm, twisting his hands as he concentrated on driving, remaining quiet for the next several minutes. There was something so intense about him, even more so than before. He certainly had some kind of purpose, although I was almost terrified to find out what that was. After a few minutes, he seemed to settle down, slowing enough I was able to open my eyes.
“Where are we going?” I managed after a few seconds.
“To a special place.”
The road remained treacherous, the elevation increasing as well as the curve of the road, but he seemed to know what he was doing. I finally saw a sign giving me some indication of where he was heading. The Mayacamas Mountains. I took a deep breath, my fear of heights threatening to derail my newly found euphoria. I also noticed signs for what appeared to be several resorts, but he was already bypassing them, heading into what appeared to be a lonely section of the mountains.
When he finally started to slow down even more, I gripped the dashboard as I sat up in my seat. I wished that it was morning so I could better see the surroundings. I had a feeling they were spectacular.
He slowed down again, the car crawling by yet another dark area. When he made a turn in through a bank of trees, only a single post indicating there was even anything down the rocky path, my stomach started to churn. Within a short distance, he stopped the car, killing the engine while leaving the headlights on.
“I found this place years ago. I used to come here several times a year. To think. To plan. Maybe to dream. Then I stopped coming.”
“Because of Carmine?” I asked in a husky whisper.
He nodded several times. “The last time I was here was with her. I rarely took a day off, but it was her birthday. I wanted to make it special. I tried, giving her a very special gift.”
“Star.”
Laughing softly, he turned his head in my direction. “Such an astute woman. Yes.”
“That’s why you feel so guilty.”
He exhaled, the sound becoming ragged. “She’d wanted a horse of her own for so damn long. When the fire struck, she refused to allow the mare to die. I was a fool.”
“You didn’t know.”
“I should have,” he snapped then shook his head. “You didn’t deserve that.”
“No, I didn’t,” I said quietly. “Why are you bringing me here?”
After rubbing his jaw, he took a deep breath. “Because it’s time to live again.”
When he reached over, I held my breath, uncertain of what to expect. The moment he eased his hand between my legs, the hard pulse in my throat became suffocating. But he was only reaching for the flashlight. I wasn’t certain if I was happy or disappointed. There were so many things about him that remained unhinged, yet on this night, he seemed in more control than ever.
After grabbing whatever he’d brought from the trunk, he guided me into the darkness, remaining on the same path. The flashlight did little other than highlight the shadows in the trees. It didn’t take long for an exquisite clearing to make itself known. I hadn’t paid much attention to the full moon before. Now the giant orb was breathtaking as it shimmered across a lake, able to highlight the mountains in the distance. This was something I hadn’t expected.
