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He growled for several seconds before allowing a slight smile to cross his face. “That’s exactly what I’m worried about.”
We enjoyed a few minutes of quiet as the moon lifted higher into the sky. I couldn’t think of a more breathtaking moment. The fact he’d shared something so special with me created more than just a wave of desire. I knew I could fall hard for this man. There were so many questions in my mind, so much I wanted to learn about him.
“Tell me about your brother. I know he’s a sore point, but I think you need to talk about him.”
As expected, he bristled, grumbling under his breath as he stared up at the stars. “Maybe you’re right but there’s very little to tell. Jackson and I were close as kids. He changed after our mother became ill, finally getting into drugs. It got worse after she died. He even got himself arrested for drug possession. I had to bail him out to keep his activities away from our father. My mother was the love of my father’s life, his everything, as he used to tell me. Pops was suffering so much I knew that one more thing would drive him over the edge. Hell, Prescott was pushing my father so hard by that point, it was crazy. I just couldn’t allow Jackson’s behavior to destroy my father. Anyway, I got him checked into a rehab and when he came back three weeks later, he was a different man.”
“That’s wonderful. Then what happened?”
“He stayed clean for a few months, working alongside me. And damn, he was good at what he did, too. Most people called him charming, including every woman he met. If he stood out in the middle of the road with five hundred cases of wine, they’d all be gone within an hour. That’s how good he was.” Montgomery laughed. “Yes, he had a way about him.”
“You were proud of him.”
His face reflected the internal anguish he still continued to feel. “I guess I was. I never thought about it. The marketing ideas were his as well. He’d sketch something out on a page and make it happen. Like magic.”
“They were wonderful ideas from what I’ve seen.” I nursed the wine, fascinated that he was sharing anything with me.
“Our stock went through the roof. He reminded me a little bit of you, forcing me to be front and center in his ad campaign. I guess I really was proud of him. Then things changed. At first it was the little things. He’d be late or forget that we were meeting with a client. Finally, in the middle of the night he disappeared after stealing some cash from the bank account. The next time I saw him was the day we buried Carmine. He was drunk as well as high and I was in no mood for his bullshit. Something snapped within me. He even missed our father’s funeral. He didn’t give a shit when my wife was… killed. He only cared about himself. I couldn’t forgive him. There wasn’t a chance in hell.” His voice had risen, his chest heaving. “And I still won’t.”
I pressed my hand against his chest. “You both have a level of darkness inside of you that you can’t understand, but I think you need each other. You need to forgive him. You also need to forgive yourself.”
“I will never forgive what I did, but that has nothing to do with Jackson.”
“Why do you think you’re responsible for Carmine’s death?” I pressed. “Because you gave her Star on her birthday?”
He snapped his head in my direction, taking my hand away then squeezing with enough pressure I was thrown into real pain. The look in his eyes was like he’d disappeared, his demons taking control.
“Don’t push me, Aspen. That’s just too painful.”
The look in his eyes really scared me this time. I’d expected a strong reaction, but not like this.
“Don’t hurt me, Montgomery. I care about you. I don’t know how or why, but you mean more to me than you could ever understand. Don’t you think I have my own demons inside? Don’t you think I’ve been through my own tragedies?”
He jerked me closer, pulling me onto my knees. Wine sloshed out of the glass, trickling down my hand and arm. His nostrils flared, his entire personality changing right before my eyes. After tossing his wineglass, he released my hand yet fisted my hair, pulling my head ever so slowly closer to his. His hot breath skipped across my face, another growl erupting from the deepest part of his system.
“God, I want you,” he whispered. “I’ve never wanted anyone this much.”
“Montgomery. We need each other.”
He crushed his mouth over mine, moving onto his knees, the kiss savage and brutal. I clung to him, just as desperate as he was, our connection crackling with electricity. He dominated my tongue, growling the entire time. Everything inside of me was on fire, my heart thudding to the point I was shaking all over.
Then just as suddenly as he’d pulled me into his arms, he pushed away, jerking up from the blanket.
I was shocked when he walked close to the water. After taking several deep breaths, I lowered the glass of wine to the blanket, determined not to allow him to shove me aside. I took deliberate steps in his direction, finally flanking his side. While we weren’t touching, we didn’t have to. The flow of electricity had already increased.
Just being near the water seemed to comfort him.
“That was uncalled for. I’m sorry if I hurt you, Aspen. That was never my intent. Everything that I’ve done has been out of line, but I can’t seem to stay away from you. You’ve awakened a part of me I thought was dead inside. No, I wanted it dead. I never wanted to feel again after what happened to Carmine. Then you came into my life and I remembered what it felt like to enjoy passion. I forgot that I’m nothing more than a monster. Perhaps you should leave before I hurt you any further.”
“Is that what you really want, to push me away?”
He exhaled in an exaggerated manner. “That’s not what I want at all.”
“Then tell me. Tell me what you do want. I understand we don’t know each other. I get that I’m a release for you, but I’ve seen such a change in you over the last few days. What you did tonight was incredible.”
“No, I am a terrible person. The sooner you realize that the better off you’ll be.”
“Damn you. You’re not a monster. You’re a man who allowed himself to become lost because of the love you felt for your wife. But I won’t be a short-term replacement you can toss away. As much as I care about you, I can’t and I won’t allow myself to fall into that kind of darkness ever again. It hurts too much.” I closed my eyes, a single vision of Scott flashing in front of my mind. I felt Montgomery’s presence drawing closer and wanted to pull away, but I couldn’t. Instead, I reached out to him. The moment he wrapped his arms around me, I pressed my face against his shoulder, allowing a few tears to fall.
