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The truth is, I do.
But I’m hesitant to say yes.
Spending time with him only intensifies the feelings I have for him, which are already too strong to ignore, but the thought of sleeping alone leaves a hollow ache in my chest. It’s probably best to tell him no so that I can process my thoughts alone, but I’m so comfortable.
It would be a pity to have to move.
“You can stay.” Making it his decision makes me feel better. That way I’m not having to confront my feelings and decide.
“I know you’ll let me,” he says. “But I want to know if youwantme to.”
I swallow hard, fighting the urge to say yes. Falling in love with a monster isn’t going to get me any closer to home and might end up doing more harm than good in the long run.
I’m scared, but admitting it out loud would make me seem weak. I don’t want that. I’m already vastly outpowered by the monsters here, and I can’t even defend myself against them. The Malev proved that point. Adding emotional weakness to my lack of physical strength makes me feel useless, and that’s not how I see myself.
But Azarius is my mate. If he’s willing to protect me and stand up to Rafe for me, why shouldn’t I be honest with him?
The shadow of an answer flashes in my brain, crawling its way out of my ‘emotional bullshit’ filing cabinet. Being raw and vulnerable with someone is hard after you’ve had your heart ripped out and stepped on. It fucking sucks. But the only way to trust again is to give someone else the opportunity to be trusted.
“Yes,” I say, tucking my thoughts back into my mental filing cabinet.
With his free hand he reaches over and tilts my chin up so that I look at him. A sense of calm melts through me as I stare into his sapphire eyes, and I know instantly that I could get used to being this close to him.
“Then I’ll stay.”
ChapterTwelve
Devyn
The schedule at the mansion is sporadic, and most of the time Elio or Azarius are sent to run errands for Rafe at the drop of a hat, but over the next week I’m able to somewhat adjust to a routine. Every morning, everyone except Rafe meets in dining room for breakfast, which is normally prepared by Elio.
I tried helping once, but I wound up asking questions the whole time while he cooked. After that, I decided to stay out of the kitchen.
“We had several maids for a long time that handled the cooking and the cleaning,” Azarius explains to my left as Elio serves everyone a pile of beige and green slop with mashed potato consistency. “But once the Malevs started migrating this way, they got nervous and disappeared. Probably went farther West to the closest city.”
“But what about the woods?” I ask, poking my food with a spoon. “I thought you said no Malevs have ever made it through.”
“That’s right. They haven’t,” he says, bobbing his head up and down. “But fear makes people irrational. It distorts truths and can implant a false reality in your head if you aren’t careful. They feared the Malevs more than they feared Rafe, and they acted on it.”
“Have they met Rafe?” I force a laugh and mumble under my breath. “I’d take Malevs over him any day.”
Elio snickers, but his serious expression quickly returns. His metallic skin glistens in the light cast by the chandelier overhead as he moves around the room, and his wings are nowhere in sight. “You’re right to fear him, but the Malevs cannot be taken lightly. You’ve only seen one. If you saw thousands creeping toward you at once from the horizon, you would understand their fear.”
Thousands.
Up until now I’ve never considered how many Malevs exist in the realm, or even how many monsters live here. My limited knowledge of the realm had me convinced the entire place was a barren wasteland, home to a few monsters scattered here and there.
Now, I know I’m wrong.
“That sounds terrifying.” A chill slips down my spine at the thought.
I have no doubt that Azarius, Elio, and especially Rafe can hold their own in a fight, but there’s no way the three of them could take on an army.
I also doubt the trees would do much good against that many.
Anxiety kills my appetite—not that my food’s mushy appearance was helping any—and I push my plate away.
“Don’t worry about it,” Azarius says. He reaches over and plants a reassuring hand on my thigh beneath the table. “Rafe is putting together a legion of monsters to fight them. By the time we get everyone involved, it’ll be a breeze.”
