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As much as I want to retort with something backhanded, I can’t. The words won’t form, even though I know there’s a joke about him being dense in there somewhere. I’m too hung up on the idea of him thinking about me often. It does, indeed, surprise me. After him being on my mind nearly every day since I arrived in Ulleh, it’s relieving to know I’m not alone.
“Yes.”
“I guess that’s my fault,” he says with a shrug. I can’t do anything but stare up at him as he speaks, grateful that we’re finally alone together again. I don’t know exactly how many days it’s been since he had me splayed out on his bed, but it feels like forever ago. “I’ve done my best to stay away from you at every opportunity, and all it’s caused is grief. I can’t do it anymore.”
When he takes another step forward, leaving only inches between us, my heart leaps into my throat. I could reach out and touch him if I wanted. I could melt into his arms and appease the need for closeness that’s burning through me, but I don’t move. I’m too desperate for him to keep talking.
“Can’t do what?” I say, hardly recognizing my breathy voice.
He bends slightly to reach for my hand and grabs it, pulling me into him. The hardness of his body against mine is a shocking reminder of what’s hiding beneath his clothes, and I blush at the thought of him having his way with me in a library.
Get ahold of yourself, Irissa.
“I can’t pretend that I don’t have feelings for you,” he says, his voice deep and impossibly tender. Hearing it makes my knees go weak, and I’m thankful he’s holding me upright. Otherwise, I’d be a puddle on the floor. “While I might not completely understand them, I know they’re more than we agreed upon in our truce.”
With his free hand, he traces a fingertip delicately along my jaw, before nudging my chin up slightly. I’m always amazed at how he touches me so carefully, despite his incredible strength. Like I’m made of glass and he doesn’t want to break me. While I’m stronger and more immune to pain than he thinks, the gesture is immeasurably perfect.
“I’m not asking you to change your mind—and I’m not even asking if you reciprocate any kind of affection—but I’m tired of fighting my instincts to be close to you,” he explains, slowly leaning in closer. The warmth of his breath cascades over my face, spilling down my neck, making my thoughts fuzzy. “It’s exhausting, constantly denying myself the one thing I want right now besides the crown.”
I don’t have to ask my next question, but I do anyway, determined to make him say it out loud. “Which is?”
“You.” He doesn’t miss a beat. “And whatever attention you’ll give me.”
His face is only inches from mine, and I’m seconds away from giving into his charm, but I attempt to keep a level head. After all, we are in the library, a whole floor away from either of our rooms. My thoughts are spinning faster than I can process them, and I plant my free hand firmly against his chest, stilling him.
“You sought me out now to tell me this?” I ask, cocking a skeptical brow at him. “This all seems kind of sudden and unexpected. Are you sure there’s nothing else going on?” I’m not sure why the thought strikes me. Maybe I really have been so oblivious in my daily daze that I’ve missed some telling signs leading to this. Maybe he’s tried before, and I was too caught up in daydreams to realize it.
He huffs through his nose and pulls away, making to straighten up. “If now’s not a good time, we can just pause this and wait,” he says, dropping his hand away from my chin. “I wasn’t aware that deep conversations had an itinerary, but I’ll make a mental note.”
I grab his shirt reflexively, fisting my hand in the material before I realize what I’m doing. The response makes Nor’s eyes pop open wide, and he glances down at his torso curiously.
“That’s not what I said.” I quickly let go and rub my hand over the material to smooth it. I hadn’t meant to be so aggressive, but I hadn’t intended to upset him either. I’m enjoying this far too much to let him go. “I just… It’s unexpected is all.”
Neither of us moves for a long second. There’s a curious glint in his eyes, and like usual, I wish I had an idea of what he’s thinking. Despite him having me figured out, Nor is still very much a mystery to me. I don’t know what he thinks or why he acts the way that he does. I can’t begin to guess at his reasoning. It’s discouraging at times, but I’m still determined to figure him out.
“This is all unexpected for me, Irissa,” he says finally, sliding his hand around my waist. He still has my hand trapped, which he refuses to release, but I don’t mind. “Clearly, or I wouldn’t have suggested the truce in the first place.”
The truce.The one chance I have of regaining my freedom from this place. The conditions are burned into my mind from the number of times I’ve considered them, and I know as soon as the king hands over his crown to my husband, I’m free to go. Free to return to Hyatt and figure out where to go from there. Could I take the throne and become queen? Would I have to take another husband? The thought of marrying someone else when I’m standing in Nor’s arms doesn’t feel right, and I shove it from my mind.
“Will you be able to keep your word?” I ask softly, not wanting to jeopardize the arrangement. “Regardless of what happens, will you still honor the agreement?”
His brows furrow but his eyes softness, a look I could almost swear is sadness, but I know better. At least I think I do. I’ve never seen this expression on him before. After a second, he nods once. “Of course. I am many things, Irissa, but I am always a man of my word.”
I exhale deeply, his confirmation relieving a weight from my shoulders.
“Now, I have a proposal for you,” he says, pulling me tighter against him. Knowing there’s nothing but a few pieces of flimsy fabric between us causes a pulse to beat to life between my thighs, but I try to ignore it. This isn’t the time or place to entertain those thoughts. “Something I want you to consider, if you would.”
“Another one?” I ask, and he nods in response. “What is it?”
“I won’t go back on or change my word, but regardless of what happens, I want you to know thatyoucan,” he explains. “If you decide you want to break the truce, rather by not playing the part or by not leaving when everything is said and done, I respect your decision.”
My jaw falls slack, and my thoughts grow fuzzier. While this seems true to Nor’s character, it still feels highly unlikely. I bite down on the inside of my cheek to make sure I’m awake, and it hurts like hell. Yes, I’m awake, and all of this is really happening.
Then why is it so hard to believe?
I suck in a shaky breath. “What made you change your mind? Before you couldn’t get rid of me fast enough. Now you want me to stay?”
He leans down again, his snout stopping a hairsbreadth away from my cheek. My stomach flutters as his breath skates over my exposed skin, and my libido begs him to flinch and close the distance.
