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“I think I’m finally starting to feel okay for the first time in a while,” I say.
That’s not entirely true. I don’t know that I want the house, but I don’t have many options. Oh, and I can’t date anyone because I only want her. I can’t even get it on with my best friends without her, and they want me. They want me so much, they text me almost daily asking if I’m coming over. I’ve been saying no because I want her; I only want her.
“Can we just stay like this for the rest of the night?” she asks.
“Whatever you want,” I say.
I’ve got to stop putting this woman ahead of everything else in my life. My friends want to fuck me; I should just let them. I should go on a date with a woman and do what my friends suggested – fuck her until I get this woman out of my system. Then, I hear it – her breathing has slowed. She’s sleeping. She’s sleeping on top of me while I hold her. I smile and kiss the top of her head. I pull the throw blanket that’s over the sofa on top of us and try to wrap it around her with my one free arm. She doesn’t stir until the knock on the door at three-forty-five.
“Shit. I fell asleep,” she says and sits up quickly.
“You’re beautiful,” I reply.
She leans back down, smiles at me, then kisses me softly, and I know I’m not going to do any of those things I tried to talk myself into earlier.
“You’re beautiful,” she says.
MONTH 11. PART 1. – A First
(POV Member)
“Mom, he’s going to be fine,” I say into the phone.
“You don’t know that. Your father is healthy, but this is surgery.”
“He’s having his gallbladder removed. It’s a common procedure,” I tell her.
“Honey, anything could happen.”
“I’m sure it will be fine. How is Dad doing?”
“He’s okay. He’s better at this stuff than I am. I’ve called your brothers. They’re going to be here.”
“Okay.”
“The surgery is Saturday morning. It’s the earliest they can get him in.”
“Saturday?” I ask.
“Yes, Saturday morning. Then, we’ll all be at the hospital for him when he gets out.”
“Right,” I say, thinking about what a horrible person I am.
I’m not thinking about my father, who’s going to have surgery; I’m thinking about the sex party that’s also this Saturday. I can still make it. It doesn’t start until eleven. I can leave the hospital by then.
“The boys are going to stay at the house that night. I thought you’d stay, too. We could make a night of it.”
“At the house?”
“Yes, I could use a distraction. They won’t let me stay with your father at the hospital, and visiting hours will be over at seven. I thought we could do a late dinner and then spend some time together so I don’t go out of my mind before we go back to the hospital on Sunday to check on him.”
“Of course,” I tell her. “I’ll pack a bag and stay the night.”
It’s the right thing to do.
“Oh, before I let you go… How did your date go?”
“Mom…” I say.
