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My partner for the evening looks over at me. I nod, but I’m non-committal. I don’t know what the night has in store for us yet, and I don’t want to promise we’ll meet up with them if we’re enjoying ourselves alone.
“We’ll walk up with you,” my partner says.
We walk up the stairs behind a couple of other women. I notice that the women we know – if we can even call it that – are holding hands. The other two aren’t. We are, though. We’re holding hands like we’re on a double date with these two and headed into the restaurant for dinner. Our ‘friends’ disappear into a room, leaving the door open, and we find one two doors down. It’s much smaller than our last, with only a queen bed, small television, and dresser. There’s no fancy balcony overlooking the backyard, but there is a window that we could look out later if anyone’s out there that we want to watch.
“Should I close the door?” she asks as I walk farther in.
I turn back to her and think maybe she’s trying to tell me something.
“Do you want to keep it open?”
“It doesn’t really matter what I want.”
I walk back to her and close the door myself.
“Can it just be us tonight? Maybe another time, we can leave it open, but I just want you tonight.”
“Sure,” she says.
“Do you want that, though?” I ask. “I know you don’t mind people watching us since we’ve left the door open before when we were with the other two, but it’s different when it’s just us, I think.”
“I don’t know. Maybe.” She shrugs a shoulder.
I remove her jacket and say, “You can tell me. You can tell me what you want. I want to know.”
“I don’t exactly know what I want,” she says.
I place my hands on her chest under her half-buttoned shirt and leave them there. Her arms go around my waist and rest on my lower back.
“You don’t have to answer this, but maybe start with what you’ve done with other people that you liked.”
“Other people?”
“At these things,” I say.
“Other members?” she asks.
“Yeah. I don’t know if I should ask about the other people you’ve been with outside of these things,” I say, feeling my face flush. “Doesn’t seem fair. But if there’s something you’ve done, and you want to do it with me, I’d like to.”
She bites her lower lip as I massage one breast and undo the buttons of her shirt with my other hand.
“You’re the only person I’ve been with at these things outside of that woman you saw me with, but that was all I did with her.”
I pull back, removing my hands, and say, “What do you mean?”
“My first night here was the same as yours,” she says.
“You–”
“I only sat behind that woman and touched her breasts while the other woman did the rest. I guess they prefer each other,” she says.
“I was with them,” I blurt out.
“What?” she asks.
“That time you weren’t here; that was who I was with.”
“Both of them?”
