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I needed him to get away from me with his false concern. I needed to regain control and break out of this meltdown. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Grudgingly accepting his help, I managed to push myself into a sitting position. The shaking was subsiding, but my chest still trembled with every ragged breath. Gideon knelt down in front of me and flashed a light on my eye. My hand jerked up instinctively to shield my face.
“Hey,” Rowan protested.
“I was just checking to see if she had a concussion,” Gideon said. “She doesn’t.”
“No, she’s just a pathetic little girl.” Wylder loomed over me. “After all your boasting, you’re just a spoiled brat who can’t handle a minute in the freezer without freaking out.”
Now that my panic was fading, the familiar rage surged back to the surface, giving me a burst of strength. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Wylder scoffed. “Oh, I think I do. When it came down to the wire, you couldn’t hide how weak you are. How the hell could we ever stand with someone who’d fall apart so easily?” He shook his head. “What happened to the girl who swore that she was going to avenge her family? Was it all for show then, huh?”
He sounded oddly angry, as if my panic attack had been an even bigger betrayal than when he’d thought I’d run off to conspire with Colt. I caught a trace of frustration under the vicious edge in his voice as if he were taking my incompetence personally. You’d think he’d be happy that he’d finally found a way to knock me down.
I met his gaze in fury, refusing to look away. I wanted to lash out at him in return, but I was afraid my voice would quaver if I tried to speak more now, and that would only make me seem weaker. Instead, I focused on taking slower breaths to regain my composure.
“There you are.” Anthea walked into the room with a clack of her heels. I shifted my glare to her. Gideon had mentioned something about her being the one who’d come up with the idea, hadn’t he?
She’d made those comments on the fire escape the other day, almost as if she’d recognized my fear. Had she realized the kind of trauma she might be triggering?
She barely glanced at me. “How did it go? I’m assuming not well.”
“She couldn’t do it,” Wylder said with scorn. “In five seconds flat, she was screaming worse than an animal about to be murdered.”
I winced at his description. Did this man not have a bone of sympathy in him?
Silly question. He was heir to the Noble legacy—of course he didn’t. That was why I’d come to him, wasn’t it? Why I’d stayed, despite all the warnings from the first to Rowan’s yesterday. I’d needed a brutal ally to take on Colt.
But that brutality could be turned on me just as easily.
Anthea’s lips curled in a sneer. “Well, what do you expect from the Katz princess? I’d imagine she’s spent her whole life playing with dollies. I told you she wasn’t worth your time.”
Rowan was watching me, the intensity in his gaze making it hard for me to look at him. He was the only one who knew just how far from the truth her assessment was, and suddenly I was angry at my younger self for opening up to him. It didn’t feel right that the boy who had betrayed me was the only person left in the world who really knew me.
“That’s not—” I started, but Anthea cut me off.
“How did she get out?”
“You can thank Rowan for that,” Wylder said. “He was feeling awfully generous toward her today.”
Rowan scowled at him. “It isn’t her fault. She—”
Oh, God, I couldn’t sit here and listen to him defend me now, laying out the worst scraps of my history for them to mock.
“I’m not weak,” I broke in, raising my voice and relieved to find it held steady. The guys thought I was a liability now, and I didn’t know if I could do anything to change their minds, but I knew I had to try. I motioned to the death trap beside me. “I can take anything you throw at me as long as it doesn’t involve burying me alive. Is that a scenario that comes up so often?”
Gideon snorted. “I’d hardly consider that a burial. And it isn’t as if we were setting you up for a fail. Many people have managed to get free, restraints and all, including every person currently in the Nobles.”
“Well, I was at a disadvantage,” I said, gritting my teeth.
“What disadvantage?” Kaige asked, as if I was going to share my dark memories with him. I had decided a long time ago that I wasn’t letting anybody else that far inside to give them a chance to hurt me.
“I just don’t like closed spaces, okay? Ever heard of claustrophobia?”
“Those are excuses for why you failed,” Wylder said. “I’ve already told you, we can’t stand with someone we can’t count on.”
I raised my chin, my heart thudding. “So what are you going to do about it?”
