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Wylder leapt up. “Yes. Is he all right? Can we see him?”
The doctor looked so solemn I wanted to punch him. As I hefted myself back onto my feet, he motioned to us. “You can, but only briefly. And I’ll warn you, his current appearance may upset you. One of the bullets ruptured a major organ—we have him in a medically induced coma while we encourage his body to recover from the trauma. He’s going to need at least one more surgery you’ll have to sign off on.”
My throat closed up. “Do you even know if he’s going to make it?” I asked in a thin voice.
The doctor’s expression told me he didn’t. “We can’t make predictions of prognosis in situations like this. We’ll do our best for him.”
Shit. My hands clenched tight as I walked with the guys down the hall after the doctor. He showed us into a small private room where a limp figure lay on a gurney in a hospital gown. Even though I should have known what to expect, it took me a second to process that the figure was Rowan.
His blond hair was stained with soot and blood. His face was so pale it looked like wax. He had tubes going into his arms and another into his mouth, and bandages protruding here and there all over his limbs and torso. I pressed my hand to my mouth to muffle a gasp. The pain in my leg suddenly seemed miles distant.
“Give us a moment alone with him?” Wylder said. “Then I’ll sign your damned forms.”
The doctor dipped his head and hustled out as if he couldn’t leave fast enough. Wylder stood right by Rowan’s head, gazing down at him. His stance had gone even more rigid. When he finally looked up, pure rage blazed in his bright green eyes.
“I’ll tear Xavier limb from limb. He’ll pay for every single drop of Rowan’s blood that his men spilled. I swear it on my fucking soul.”
Kaige smacked his hands together, intense in his agreement. “Oh yes, he will.”
“And I’ll be right there with you,” Gideon said in a flat voice edged with his own anger. “I’ll rip the Storm and his people apart every way I possibly can.”
Their collective anger couldn’t fill the hollow of grief and guilt in my heart. I wanted to see Xavier gutted, sure. But what would the price be?
Rowan had already paid for the war I’d dragged the Nobles into—he might pay with his life. Was this war worth it if it took away one of the people I cared about most? How much else would I lose before it was over?
I glanced between Kaige and Wylder. They looked ready to go after Xavier right this instant, guns blazing. Even Gideon’s face was a mask of worry and frustration. How many more people would have to be sacrificed in my crusade to protect my home—a crusade that was seeming more hopeless by the day?
I’d never even gotten to tell Rowan I loved him. What if I’d lost that chance forever?
What was the point in all this fighting if everyone ended up dead anyway?
I closed my eyes against those awful questions and the horrible specter of Rowan’s injured body. There was a rustling as the doctor came back in.
“I’m sorry to disturb you, but the operating room is open. The sooner we can get started, the better off he’ll be.”
“Of course,” Wylder said gruffly. A pen scratched across a paper form.
I forced myself to open my eyes. I stared down at Rowan as the attendants wheeled his gurney out of the room.I love you, I thought at him, as if that would make a difference now.I love you.Please come back to me.
Wylder turned to the rest of us. “It sounds like there won’t be any news for a while. We should let them work and get ourselves sorted out. It won’t do Rowan any good if he survives only for the Long Night to cut him down in a few days’ time.”
I wanted to protest, but deep down I knew he was right. For a second, my pain seemed to cut right through the center of my being. Hanging around here was only making it worse. I needed to get away, to think, to figure out where I stood now that my world had been upended in a way I hadn’t really been prepared for.
“Can I get a lift?” I asked. “I want to go home.”
“You shouldn’t even have to ask that,” Wylder said.
He and Kaige supported me on either side as I limped out to Wylder’s Mustang. Kaige stayed with me in the back seat. The sun had risen for the morning, blazing over the streets with a brightness that made me feel like I was hallucinating. How could it bedaylightwhen Rowan was locked in darkness?
Wylder drove straight to the Katz house. He parked out front, nodding to the Claws men stationed on the lawn, who studied me with obvious concern. I was going to have to put on a brave face for them.
“We can come in with you,” Wylder said. “Keep you company.”
As much as I appreciated his offer, I shook my head. “I think I need to be alone for a little while to collect myself.”
Kaige grunted. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? Feelings can be quite a bitch.”
My lips twitched with a hint of a smile at his blunt statement. “Yes, they can. But I think I’m having a few that I’ll work through easier on my own.” I touched his cheek. “Thank you. I’ll call in an hour or two. Let me know if anything comes up.”
