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Before he suffocated me under his weight, he rolled to the side, tipping me with him so we both fit on the lounger together. The cool air licked over my naked legs. Neither of us had bothered stripping off our shirts, but the half-nakedness felt weirdly more intimate than if we’d been totally nude. It was a testament to how desperately we’d needed this moment.
I didn’t know what to say, but there didn’t seem to be any need for words. I lay there in the cocoon of warmth we’d formed, savoring the afterglow.
Garrison stroked his hand over my hair and along my jaw. He tipped my chin up just enough to press a kiss on my lips that felt almost tender, especially after the brutality with which we’d initially come together.
If he’d led with that move, my body would have flinched with panic. After what we’d just done, I was relaxed enough with him that it didn’t bother me. He’d been nothing like the man who’d violated me so horribly. He was nothing like that man.
When Garrison lay his head against the cushions again, I peeked over at him. Curiosity stirred inside me. He hadn’t shied away from the role-play I’d asked for—and he’d more than delivered. He must be fairly experienced. More than I was, but then, who wasn’t? All the amazing sensations of sex were one more freedom the household had stolen from me for too long.
“Do you get a chance to do this sort of thing—with other women—very often?” I asked, tilting my head to the side to watch his expression. “I mean, I’m guessing it’s hard to keep up a relationship in your line of work.”
Garrison’s lips twitched, whether with amusement or discomfort, I couldn’t tell. “Yeah, but it doesn’t matter to me. I haven’t been looking for a relationship anyway.”
I let out a teasing huff. “Who’s the real lone wolf then?”
“At least I know how to work with other people on a regular basis,” Garrison retorted. He kept his tone light, but a trace of tension wound through it.
“I’m sure there are a few emotional—and other—needs that the rest of the crew can’t quite fulfill for you. Nothing so strange about that.” I paused. “I guess that’s a trade-off to this kind of life.”
Garrison shifted, easing a little apart from me. “It’s not a trade-off. Some people aren’t interested in grand romance or becoming a family man. I’m perfectly happy with the life I’m already leading.”
I squinted at him in the growing darkness, having trouble believing him. Garrison was a master not just of reading people but of presenting himself to others the way he wanted. I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen him without some kind of mask on. How much was he hiding even from himself?
“Is that really true?” I asked without thinking. “Or is it just easier to tell yourself and everyone else that because you don’t think you can have everything you’d really want anyway?”
Garrison heaved upright and grabbed his pants. “I’ll thank you to save the psychoanalysis for someone who needs it,” he snapped, any lingering tenderness wiped away. Before I could figure out what I’d done wrong or how to fix it, he stalked across the rooftop and down the stairs.
