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If he’d slashed it at me, it wouldn’t have been so bad. I’d have dodged with maybe some split skin for Julius to stitch up. But instead the captive let out one last, hollow laugh and plunged the blade into his own throat.
Blood gushed forth, soaking him and spraying me in an instant. I jerked back with a noise of strangled horror—both at the sudden, stinking mess and the fact that I’d allowed it to happen.
Our victim had found an escape route after all, and it was one where I couldn’t chase after him. His body was already crumpling in the chair, the life draining out of it. I knew without feeling for a pulse that he was a goner. He sure as hell wasn’t talking any more with a knife in his throat.
Shit. Shit.
I paced from one end of the room to the other as the blood formed a thick puddle beneath the chair. My hands balled into fists at my sides. I had to go up and tell Julius about my fuck-up. I’d found out a few things, but it was all too vague to be really useful—and I’d screwed up when I could have gotten so much more.
How could I have let myself get so impatient? For fuck’s sake, I knew better.
I dragged a breath through my clenched teeth, and the door eased open. The most likely source of my frayed control peered inside. My jaw tightened even more.
“What happened?” Dess asked, staring at the scene.
“What does it look like?” I snapped. “I pushed him too far, and he found a way to jump right over the edge.”
Her gaze slid to me, and something softened in her expression. Somehow that made me even more pissed off. How dare she sympathize when half the reason I’d screwed up was that I hadn’t felt totally like myself since she’d come barging into our lives?
“I’m sure you were doing your best,” she said. “It’s not like torture is an exact science.”
“I still should have done better than letting him off himself. Why don’t you get out of here and let me clean up my own mess?”
Dess knit her brow. Her voice came out terser. “I’m trying to help. It’s not like there’s anyone in the world who doesn’t make mistakes.”
I sputtered a laugh. “This is more than just a mistake. I don’t need you sugar-coating it. I can face my fuckups like a man.”
She folded her arms over her chest. “Then maybe you should act like a man now and stop bitching about this. Stop acting like I’m the enemy. I don’t know what the hell your problem with me is, but I’m getting sick of you treating me like I either don’t exist or like I’m garbage.”
I winced inwardly but contained my reaction. I couldn’t afford to let her see how much she affected me. No fucking way.
“I’m not going to cater to your every whim just because—” I started, and just then, Julius stormed into view behind her.
“What the hell is this all about?” he demanded.
Part of me wanted to shrink back like I’d been pretending to do around our captive. I forced my chin up and my shoulders back. “I screwed up. He got too close to a knife and offed himself.”
Julius swept his hand through the air. “I’m not talking about the interrogation. We were going to kill him anyway. I’m asking why the hell you two are fighting after all the shit we’ve just been through?”
Dess stiffened. “I was just telling Garrison to stop acting like such an ass all the time.”
Julius gave her a stern look. “Garrison is how he is. But he can learn to watch his mouth when the situation calls for it.” He glowered at me next. “We’ve got enough people attacking us without going at each other.”
Annoyance started to flare in me again, but Dess lowered her head. The slant of her mouth and the slight deflating of her posture gave more of an answer than any words could have.
She wasn’t angry with me. She was hurt. I’d been pushing her away ever since we’d hooked up, and… and it genuinely bothered her.
She wanted more of a connection with me, more comradery and warmth, and I’d been shutting her out. Even though if I let myself think about it instead of giving in to my kneejerk reaction to push her away, I knew I wanted the same thing.
Julius kept studying both of us. “I was hoping the two of you could collaborate on the next steps we need to take from here. Is that going to be a problem?”
I shook my head quickly. “No. We can work together. It wasn’t Dess’s fault. I was frustrated with the interrogation, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on her.”
Julius nodded and turned to Dess. She tipped her head in acknowledgment of what I’d said, but her expression was a little more skeptical than his was.
I guessed I couldn’t blame her. Whatever connection had already formed between us, I must have hammered a lot of cracks into it over the past few days.
This wasn’t how I wanted things to go, not really. I’d better figure out my bullshit before it got in my way again.
