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His mouth twisted. “I can’t earn trust sitting here tied up, Rachel.”
I caught his gaze and held it firmly. “Rachel is the name that family gave me. I don’t want any part of it. I go by Dess now.”
He blinked. “Dess,” he said, as if trying out the sound of it. His shoulders tensed. “Is that what the people who stole you away called you? You’re keeping their—”
“It’s the name I grew up with, the only name I remember having,” I said, cutting him off before he could go on any kind of rant. “It’s mine now, and I’ve decided to keep it. Believe me, I have no love for the people who held me all those years either. The men out there, my crew, they’re not connected to those people at all. They helped me get away from the real villains.”
Carter snorted as if the idea that anyone could be worse villains than my men was absurd. My jaw clenched despite my best intentions.
“Look,” I said, my voice hardening. “You know that our family were villains too, don’t you? They tortured and killed innocent children simply because of who their parents were. The idea that doing it somehow reduced crime has no basis in reality. Rates have gone up and down over the decades with no influence from those bloody rituals. Killing all those kids did nothing but cause unnecessary tragedy and make them feel good about themselves. So that the Maliks could believe in their own importance, they tore apart so many other families.”
Carter shook his head. “You don’t understand,” he said, but his voice wavered.
“I think I do,” I replied. “I’ve heard every explanation our parents and the rest of the family offered, and none of it sounded anything short of batshit crazy. Maybe it can start to seem like it makes sense when you grow up surrounded by people who believe it, who constantly reinforce those ideas, but you’ve been out in the real world too. You know how delusional anyone else would think it is. Have youeverseen any evidence that those rituals helped anyone or anything other than your egos?”
Carter’s jaw worked. After a moment of silence in which he didn’t appear to have an answer, I went on with a flicker of hope.
“I want to stop criminals too, you know. The worst of them. I’ve already been working on that. But I don’t slaughter innocent people to make it happen, because that won’tmakeit happen. I go straight at the source, the people doing the harm, and take them down. Shouldn’t you applaud me for doing that instead of seeingmeas a villain? I’m accomplishing exactly what the Maliks claimed to want, only much more effectively.”
My brother seemed to need a moment to take this all in. At least he was listening. Thinking about what I’d said.
Then he exhaled sharply. “There were a lot of reasons that we couldn’t go after the criminals. The effects—we wanted something broader and not focused on the individual level…”
“And did you see any broad effects?” I demanded.
I caught a slight wince that seemed to unwillingly acknowledge my point.
“My way makes a hell of a lot more sense than going after innocent kids,” I said. “We’re tackling the problems right at the source. And you could help us with that. Or you could go off and live your own life and let us keep at it without either of us getting in each other’s way. Either would be fine with me.”
I knew Carter was stubborn, but I also knew he wasn’t stupid. It was just hard to sway him after our family had spent years conditioning him to believe the opposite. I hoped that I’d be able to get through to him, especially since the Maliks’ goals and mine were so similar. The way we went about doing it was different, but the morality of it all was the same, in essence.
“We followed the rules,” he said finally. “Our rules, but they were still rules. We didn’t just go around murdering people left and right.”
“And neither do we.” I let out my breath and stood up. “I don’t think there’s anything else I can say right now. This is a lot to take in. Please just think about it. Remember everything our family did—not just what you thought was good, but the parts that were obviously bad. I’ll let you finish your dinner, and then I’ll have to come back and put the gag in again.”
He sat in silence as I stepped out. Garrison came over while I pushed the latch back into place.
“I can try talking some sense into him,” he offered, tipping his head toward the room. “Give it my best shot.”
The idea sent a jolt of resistance through me. What could Garrison say that I hadn’t? He didn’t know Carter at all. If my brother was going to come to his senses, I couldn’t imagine him believing anyone but me. At least I was family too, if in a detached sort of way.
“I think we should keep it between family for now,” I said. “But if I need your help, I’ll let you know.”
He cracked a smile. “Please do. Chatting people up is my main job here, after all.”
I glanced past him to the other guys, who’d paused their card game to watch our conversation. My skin seemed to tighten around my body. The uneasiness the Blood Hunter’s words had stirred up hadn’t left me.
“I know,” I said. “I’m going to explore the rest of the building. I’ll stay inside and not make any phone calls—don’t worry.” We’d all gotten new phones and ditched our old ones after my encounter with the Blood Hunter anyway, and we were only going to use them to contact each other unless there was an absolute emergency.
Garrison waved me off, but again I felt his gaze and the others’ trailing after me. Probably wondering why I suddenly wanted all this time to myself.
I wished I could have given them a real answer.
