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Julius and Talon were stirring on their makeshift mattresses. Talon rubbed his eyes and grimaced at the ceiling before reaching for the bottle of water we’d left next to him. Julius sat up gingerly and checked the bandage on his side, which was mercifully free of blood.
Inspiration sparked in my mind. I dragged Garrison over to the two wounded men. Blaze set down his laptop and meandered over too, bringing a bag from our stash of food in case they were hungry.
Julius eyed us contemplatively. He could probably sense the tension in the room as well as I could. I nudged Garrison. “Ask them iftheythink you did anything wrong?”
Garrison’s mouth flattened. Julius arched his eyebrows slightly. “Wrong when?” he asked in a voice that was only a little rough now. “Have you been getting into trouble while we’ve been napping?”
“No,” Garrison said tersely. “You know what she’s talking about. You saw that I left my post as lookout at Gordell’s house. If I’d been where I was supposed to be—where you ordered me to be—then I’d have seen the new squad coming. You wouldn’t have gotten shot, because we’d have been prepared.”
Talon propped himself up on his elbows, watching the proceedings in silence.
Julius looked at Garrison steadily. “Why did you have to leave your post?”
Have to.I noticed that even in the words he chose, Julius was indicating that he knew Garrison would never break from the plan without a damn good reason.
“It doesn’t matter,” Garrison said. “I—”
“Like hell, it doesn’t matter,” Julius interrupted. “Did you leave because you needed to piss? Did you get bored and decide to go elsewhere to join in on the action?”
“Of course, not—”
“Exactly. So why did you?”
Garrison’s jaw clenched before he answered. “Dess was being attacked. I wasn’t sure she could handle it on her own, so I jumped in.”
“Literally,” I piped up, unable to stay quiet any longer, especially when he was still using a tone as if he’d done something abominable. “And he almost definitely saved my life.”
“While almost getting them killed,” Garrison insisted.
“But we’re still here, and so is Dess, it sounds like thanks to your quick reaction.” Julius shifted his position with a wince he couldn’t totally hide. “Sometimes missions go sideways, and we need to think on our feet. You should know that better than anyone—you’re our main improviser, aren’t you?”
Garrison grimaced at him. “When I’m working people, sure. This was different.”
“Not as far as I can see. I’ve never expected any of you to follow my orders to the letter if you realize some other action needs to be taken to meet our main goal. And our most primary goal above all others is that we make it through to the other side. What you did accomplished that. We’re all still here. Do you really think I’d rather have come out of that mission uninjured but without Dess?”
“Of course not,” Garrison said without the slightest hesitation.
Julius’s mouth curled into a small smile. “There you go. You did good. I’m perfectly comfortable putting the full blame for this damned gunshot on the Blood Hunter, Gordell, and their minions. What do you think, Talon?”
The other man grunted. “I think the kid has delusions of grandeur if he figures he could have somehow played that scenario better.”
His voice was gruff, but the teasing wryness of the remark and his calling Garrison a kid seemed to relax the younger man more than anything anyone else had said. Garrison’s shoulders came down a smidge.
“Not that I expect you care all that much about my opinion, but I think you made the right call too,” Blaze put in in a typically cheeky tone. “Maybe the execution could have been a little smoother—”
“Blaze,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him, and he just grinned.
But Garrison seemed to lighten even more with Blaze’s jab. It was the way they communicated—the way the team worked in sync. I couldn’t really imagine Blaze responding any differently.
Looking at the four of them, my heart swelled with more emotion than I could ever remember feeling before. These men shared so much respect and loyalty, with bonds that only death could sever. They were a true family, and they’d let me join them so easily and with so much trust.
I didn’t think I’d ever stop being thankful for all of them.
I didn’t think I’d ever stoplovingall of them.
I hadn’t been sure before that I was capable of love at all. I’d never experienced it, not really, so how could I know how it even felt? But in this moment, with the giddy warmth expanding through my chest, it seemed impossible that I couldnotlove them—these gorgeous, supportive, dedicated men, brutal as they also were. I loved them all for different reasons, but I couldn’t deny the fact that I felt more for each of them than I’d felt for anyone else in my entire life.
They’d all expressed their commitment to me in their own ways. Why hadn’t I offered the same to them?
