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It wasn’t fair.
None of it, for any of us.
Instead of being able to simply move forward in life, time and time again, there was yet another thing, yet another reason, yet another trauma, dragging me back into this shit.
There wasalwayssomething dragging me back into this shit.
But never again.
Not after today.
After today, this shit was going to be done, one way or another.
Did I want this to be the end ofme?
Of course not.
When it came to this shit with the Belroses, I wanted to be the last one standing, but I was prepared for that to not be the case.
I was done with this shit though.
Exhausted of it.
At this point, it was killed or be killed, and as I made my way closer and closer to where I knew Renard was, I did not allow my natural hesitation to keep me from being the one doing the killing.
I dropped every guard in my way.
This was another unfair thing about all this shit. I didn’twantto be this person anymore.
An argument could be made that I was simply doing what I had to do, but I didn’t want this to be a part of my reality any longer.
For any reason.
At all.
So as much as I already hated Renard, hatedThe Garden, hated my mother for dropping me off to be turned into this, I found alittlemore hatred for everybody that brought me to it.
I dug deep for it.
I had to keep it on the surface, had to keep it at the forefront of my mind.
There was so much to keep on my mind it bordered on overwhelming.
But, I had to keep my focus steadfast on why I was here. And at this point, the revenge wasn’t even the greatest driving factor.
They wouldnotuse Tati against me.
They would notuseTati at all.
Not like they’d done to me.
To all of us.
So I allowed myself to bask fully in the hatred, baked it in even deeper. I kept it right at the forefront, in addition to pulling up all the dredges of my training over the years, including my most recent lesson at Alicia’s hands.
That stupid ass song.
After what happened atBottoms, there was no way they didn’t know I was coming, which made this whole thing especially dangerous for me.
