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“Is this a date?” I asked, peeking around the partition I’d put up as a bedroom “wall”. I couldn’t be sure he actually heard me – he was too busy looking around in awe.
“So this is your space, huh?” he asked, the wonderment on his face being taken over by a smile. “It’s… bright.”
I took a sip from the drink he’d brought – amocha matcha madness– then raised an eyebrow. “Why do you seem so surprised by that?”
“It’s … not what I expected,” he said, stepping over to the window to look out. “I mean, you had me tattoo a storm on you, and you’re all on your mystery shit… I thought your space would be moody or something. This is …pretty.”
Once I’d pulled my shirt over my head, I looked around, trying to see what he saw. And… yeah, I guess I did. My chosen color palette involved lots of whites and delicate grays, with the occasional pale touch of teal. Lots of soft textures to break up the hard surfaces, no darkness.
I wanted a space that made me feel good, and… this did.
When I told him that, his lips spread into a full-blown smile. “Thank you for inviting me into your sanctuary.”
I shrugged. “Thank my mentor. She’s the one who encouraged me to be more trusting, and open, so…”
“A mentor? That’s dope,” Tristan nodded, following me back to the door now that I had on shoes and had grabbed my latte, keys, and everything for my little crossbody pouch. “It’s nice to have that guidance and all that.”
“Yeah. She um… used to be in the same industry as me, so she kinda understands all the… unique challenges of transitioning out of it. She’s really been a life saver for me.”
“Ay – you never did tell me what you used to do,” he spoke up, as we stepped out of the shop. “Did I tell you Kiara thinks you’re a spy?”
I smiled. “I thought it was an assassin. At least, that’s what she said tome.”
“It’s evolved to both,” he explained, chuckling. “I suppose I shouldn’t complain about the girl having an imagination, right?”
“Let her dream.” I took a sip from my drink, enjoying the kick of warmth against the cool spring morning – the sun wasn’t quite up yet, so my shorts and tee shirt weren’t quite doing the trick. “I’m not offended.”
“Hm… is that because youarea spy?”
“It’s because I understand that kids are kids, andshouldbe free to make decisions, and have their own minds. She wasn’t timid, or afraid to say what she was thinking – which I think says a lot about you, as her parent. So… I guess… good job.”
Tristan grinned. “Well thank you… but you do realize you didn’t actually deny being a spy, right?” he laughed. “Why are you being so cagey about this job thing? You used to run drugs or something? Cause there’s plenty of folks like that around here, nothing to be embarrassed about. Hell, I introduced you toseveralfelons that night I invited you toUrban Grind.”
My eyes went wide. “Duly noted. And I hear you, I get where you’re coming from, but… I reallydon’twant to talk about my job.Won’ttalk about it. It was pretty traumatizing, and … something I want to move past, completely.” I stopped walking. “I get it, if you’re not willing to accept that. We can turn back now, and drop this here.”
He sucked his teeth, shifting the hand he was holding his cup with to grab mine, pulling me to get me walking again. “I thought I told you to stop playing with me?”
“What?”
“If there’s shit you don’t want to talk about, we don’t have to talk about it. But you’re loco if you think something like that is gonna scare me off easily. You can cross that one off your list of excuses – from now on, you’re the candle lady to me. Far as I’m concerned, making candles is the only thing you’veeverdone.”
“Only, I haven’t even madeonecandle. Ever,” I corrected him, information he met with a frown.
“I watched you get a whole shipment of shit last week, and you were looking around at it all like a kid in a candy store.”
“Yeah,” I admitted. “Iwasexcited to get it, but now that it’s all here, I… I dunno. It’s kinda intimidating.”
Immediately, Tristan frowned, brushing off my words. “Man, whatever.”
“What?”
“I don’t believe for a second that you’re intimidated by… anything, honestly,” he said, stopping with me at an intersection. I met his gaze, thinking he had to be joking, because… seriously?
Every element of this wholereinventionthing was intimidating as fuck.
There was no way with as much as I felt it, he couldn’t see how confused and awkward I was. Especially withhim.
“I’m glad you think so highly of me,” I told him as we crossed the street. “But I’m really feeling my way through the dark. I’m really not used to being able to make my own decisions, and just… living exactly how I want. Yes, I’ve lived, and all that, but now that it’s all just up to me… it’s so different. Everything is brand new, all over.”
