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Without giving her a chance to respond, I ended the call. It took all my discipline and commitment to personal responsibility not to turn the phone off too.

That wouldn’t be wise.

So instead, I hoped beyond hope that Alicia would give me the space I was so clearly asking for, and not call back.

She didn’t.

I was able to finish the drive uneventfully, allowing my mind to float into my peaceful, fictional worlds. By the time I arrived atEscape,I was honestly ready to pull out my laptop. The breezy check-in process and motorized cart to take me right to the front door of my private villa only contributed to that cause.

This was already proving to be an excellent idea.

I ordered myself some room service, took a long bath, and then got comfortable in front of a window that looked out onto the lagoon. It wasn’t private in the sense of me having it totally to myself, but the guest list for the resort was small and exclusive.

It wouldn’t be exactly teeming with people.

The main building housed the front desk, restaurants, bars, and other amenities, with two floors of guest rooms above everything else. The lagoon was where people like me, who were staying in one of the twelve villas. Everyone else had private, beachfront access to the ocean.

I plan to get some of that too, later.

For now, the sun starting to fade over the lagoon was the perfect backdrop for me to put some words down. And I did, so completely absorbed that by the time I came up for air, the sun was completely gone from the sky, and the only light outside was a combination of torches lighting the edge of the lagoon and moonlight streaming down.

A completely different vibe from earlier, but still beautiful.

I’d eaten more than I should at lunch, so dinner wasn’t even on my mind as I closed my laptop, venturing out into the surprisingly cool night. After a few minutes on my private balcony, I decided to trek further. I wanted to see more of the property since I skipped the offered tour when I arrived.

I’d probably just ended up doing it again later, when it was daylight out, but for the moment I wanted to get out and about, and walk around.

Without feeling like somebody was watching me.

Finally.

* * *

I usedto wish I were a mermaid.

One of very few childhood memories that hadn’t been stripped away and replaced with horror. I would hold my breath, eyes wide open, head under the surface as I skillfully cut through the water, playing pretend that I was some great, mythically beautiful creature.

Maybe that’s what compelled me back to the water after so much time away - this one good thing I pulled from unfortunate scraps.

The resort was quiet enough that no one seemed to notice or care that I was heading down the dock in the dark.

It was a crisp, beautiful night. The resort guests outside were too absorbed with their own pursuit of peace to pay me any mind. Besides that, I didn’t know any of these people, and they didn’t know me.

What a freeing thought.

It made it so easy to just put one foot in front of the other as I headed down the pier with a singular focus on my destination.

The water.

I took my sandals off, but nothing else, as if the idea that I was crazy might need any contributing factors. Maybe Alicia and everybody elseshouldbe worried about me.

Iwasn’tcrazy.

But if I was… hell, didn’t I have plenty of reason to be?

After surviving what was intended to destroy me down to the core, I wasstill here.Not unscathed, and not without a daily struggle, but… I was here.

Now if I could just progress beyond that.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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