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Unlike my previous trips out of the room, I took my cell phone this time, more as a security measure than anything. The oversized shades I was wearing would ensure my ability to people watch and observe, which was much more of an appealing thought to me than immersing myself in the happenings on my cell phone.
I found myself a quiet spot and under a cabana, leaving the drapes open so I wasn’t completely closed off.
Another baby step.
Once I was settled in, my gaze swept the entire pool area looking for a familiar face and body. To my mind, there was no question that Zay was lurking around here somewhere to monitor me.
I hated that I found that comforting.
Wherever he was, he was well-camouflaged, because after several sweeps, I still hadn’t spotted him. Eventually I gave up, turning my attention to the real reason I had to come out here.
The people.
A few others seemed to be here alone like me, but mostly it was couples and families. It was the families I was most enthralled by, especially seeing how different these people were compared to what you might see as the stereotypical, luxury vacationing family.
They were actually having fun with each other.
It made me wonder whatmyfamily might have looked like once upon a time, even though the answer was likely nowhere near as warm and fuzzy as the one I might want. Alicia and I had different mothers, and while there was no doubt in my mind that her mother would have been accepting of me,mymother was indifferent at best to Alicia at every opportunity.
I hoped Alicia didn’t feel too burdened by that.
Paloma wasn’t very fond of me either.
The gunshot wound on my arm was proof.
“Fuck,” I whispered to myself, trying to clear that train of thought.
I was supposed to be relaxing, not mentally rehashing my traumas.
This could’ve been an excellent time to sample one of those colorful fruity drinks so many people were carrying around. I could use a bit of alcohol to dull my senses.
But it was specifically for that same reason that I barely indulged, not after my battle with addiction after the whole thing with Sebastian and Maxim.
Fuck.
There I was again.
“Would you like to order some lunch now?”
I looked up to see a smiling server standing nearby, waiting on me to answer. I returned the smile, andyes, actually, Ididwant to order some lunch, since skipping breakfast was finally starting to catch up to me now.
Maybe if I had some sustenance in me, it would be easier for my brain to not keep heading back to sensitive things.
It didn’t go like that though, not exactly.
Whatactuallyhappened was that I got a pleasant distraction, in the form of a couple, a man and a woman, who came to occupy the vacant cabana next to me. They weren’t close enough together that them choosing that one over other empty ones gave me any weird vibes.
I’d chosen that one because it was in the sun, but oriented in a way that it wasn’t in my face, and also had a magnificent view past the pool to the ocean. So it made sense that others might choose it for the same reason too.
And besides that… they were cute together.
Verytouchy feely with each other, lots of kissing and laughing and teasing, without it being over the top, or seeming like too much.
They were just having fun.
Eventually though, I had to put my eyes back on my own proverbial plate, because I kept getting caught staring by the female half of their duo.
Well… maybe notcaught,since there was no way she could see my eyes. But I was definitely already looking at them every time her eyes came in my direction, so maybe I was just feeling guilty.
