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“Is that… outlandish somehow?”
I draped the dress across my open suitcase and propped hands on my hips. “Uh… yeah, a bit,” I told him. “I don’t…doclubs. Or dancing. Ordrinking. Or… sexy.”
“Well, that last part is a lie from the pits of hell,” Zay shrugged, not moving from his relaxed position on my bed, hands propped behind his head. “The other stuff though… you’ve got something against those things?”
I swallowed. “Um… not necessarily, I guess. I just haven’t done them. Not since… everything.”
What I wasn’t saying, and hoped he’d pick up without me having to, was that those things terrified me. The unwanted attention, the social interaction, thevariables,losing control or risk of having something done to me, or the possibility of triggering forced addictions… it was all so much.
Too much.
“You know I wouldn’t let anything happen to you, right?”
I sighed.
With that one line, Isaiah pulled me from an impending spiral of negative thoughts, keeping me from getting lost inthatheadspace.
“I do,” I agreed.
He sat up. “Okay. So… it’s one thing if you just don’t want to do it because you don’t want to do it. We can get room service and chill, that’s fine. But if you don’t want to do it because you’reafraidto do it… tell me what I can do to ease those fears.”
And now… here we were.
HereIwas.
In that perfect, slutty dress, in a dark, smoky club on theEscapeproperty.
The venue's contained nature helped, but it was Isaiah’s presence, warm and imposing, right at my side, that was doing most of the heavy lifting.
He’d left my bungalow just long enough to do his own—light—packing and get ready for our little outing himself. He’d come back looking like a freakingSugar&Spicemodel and smelling good enough to make me feel like a cat in heat.
He must’ve liked what he saw too, because we’d barely made it out the door without ruining all our efforts to get dressed up. It was only because he insisted we needed to get over this particular hurdle that I didn’t call for a last-minute change of plans.
Sohere we were.
“How do you feel?” he leaned into me to ask in my ear. “You having a good time?”
I peeked up at him with a smile. “I am. I like the music – like the way the bass feels. And I like the smoke, somehow,” I laughed. “And… the energy, of all the people. It’s electric, and I love it. This though…,” I said, nodding at my mostly-untouched cocktail, “I still think I’ll pass on. I don’t want anything altering my brain while I’m out like this.”
Zay nodded. “That’s definitely understandable – I’m glad you were willing to test it out, see how you feel and make your decision from there. On your own.”
“On my own? What does that mean?”
He shrugged a bit. “I just… I’ve seen how your sister is about you, you know? And it’s not necessarily a bad thing, but… I just wonder how much of your reticence about life in general is less about howyoufeel, and more to do with howshefeels. She’s worried about you so much, and done so much to assure your safety that you’ve felt you owe it to her.”
“Wow. I… don’t know if I’ve thought about it like that before,” I admitted. “But honestly, maybe Idoowe my safety to her. Wouldn’t you feel like it was a slap in the face if I were out here doing risky shit after you gambled your life to rescue me?”
Zay nodded. “Sure. If you decided to pick up a life of crime, or… gator wrestling, or MMA fighting or some shit, I’d definitely feel a bit slighted. But… you had to sneak away to go on a writing retreat, Dee,” he teased, even though his words were valid. “She had me trailing you to go for a run. You were afraid to just… go to a club,” he added, bringing home his point. “I get it, with a past like ours, we have different considerations than the everyday person. And it’s smart to mitigate the potential harm. But we can’t be so paranoid that we don’t even enjoy the freedom we waited so long for. That’s a whole other type of bondage, and… we’re off that.”
“That all sounds really good, and of course I agree. I don’twantto be afraid of my own shadow. But Alicia is… that’s a whole other level ofbrick wallto try to talk to,” I explained, but Zay shook his head.
“I’m not concerned about that. Alicia is your sister, not your master. I’ll talk to her.”
My eyes wentbig. “You’ll talk to her aboutwhat?”
“Loosening the reins,” he said, like it was all so simple. “And I know what you’re probably thinking,Alicia is gonna kick your ass, fool.And… shit, she might, that’s a tough ass chick,” he laughed. “But… the thing is, our interests are aligned – hers and mine. We both want nothing but the best for you.”
I raised an eyebrow. “So… what is this, instead of just havingheron my back, you want her to scoot over so you can smother me with safety and protection “for my own best interest” too?”
