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“Yeah. This is much, much better,” he teased, hooking his hands behind his head as he grinned up at me. “Do your worst. I can take it.”
Ugh!
I couldn’t keep a smile from forming on my face, so I shook my head. “Whatever. The moment has passed.”
“Ah, don’t tell me you’re mad at me now. What did I do?”
“What did you do?” I sucked my teeth, then twisted to awkwardly pick up one of the pool noodles between my gloves, pressing tight to hold it firm enough to wack him upside the head a few times, like he’d done to me. “Not fun, is it?”
“That? No. But the way you’re rocking your hips to hit me…goddamn,” he grunted. “That, you’re going to have to stop.”
I narrowed my eyes and then pushed backward, landing so that I was right on top of his dick. And rocked again. “What?That? What are you going to do if I don’t stop?”
“Why,” he asked, easily sitting up, with me still planted in his lap, “Are you messing with me, knowing you’re… confused?”
“Am I?”
“Aren’t you?” he countered, meeting my gaze with a stare so intense I had to look away.
“Can you take these off for me?” I held up my gloved hands with my eyes still averted, and he undid them without a word, tossing them onto the mat beside us. “What?” I asked, finally giving him my attention again, when I could still feel him looking at me. “You have something you need to say?”
“Needto say? No.Wantto say?... maybe.”
“That’s not amaybekind of question,” I told him, trying my best to remain unaffected by the feeling of him between my legs. That was the problem with teasing a man, you ran the risk of getting yourself hot and bothered. Even with the layers of our clothes, it was prominent – thick, and hard, and bringing back memories that made me involuntarily clench.
The grin he gave me made it clear that he’d felt it.
“How is that for you to decide?”
I scoffed. “Maybe becauseIasked the question.”
His eyebrows went up. “Oh. I guess that makes sense.”
“What was it that you wanted to say?” I asked, trying to bring him back to what he was clearly attempting to deflect.
The glitter of amusement left his eyes, replaced by… something else, as he shrugged. “I was just… wondering where you were, mentally, with all of this. With everything. Trying to get a gauge on how you’re feeling. You haven’t said much.”
“Excuse me? I feel like talking is all I’ve been doing.”
“Not about…you. We’ve talked about the shit that’s been happening, talked about me, talked about Kay, talked about our friendship, and so on, but… there hasn’t been much aboutyou. Areyouokay?”
Maybe I was just still a little sensitive from my conversation with Blake earlier, and then getting hit with that goddamn noodle a million times. Or maybe my emotions weren’t buried as deeply as I thought.
Whatever it was, that question brought hot, immediate tears to the backs of my eyes, and I blinked hard, trying to clear them away.
“Um…why do you ask? Do I seem like I’m not okay?”
“Do I seem like I give a fuck what youseemlike? Cause I don’t. I asked if youareokay, not if youseemto be.”
I let out a huff. “Well. Um…” I shrugged. “Honestly, not really. I have someone trying to destroy my company, and maybe kill me, and I don’t know who I can trust, and my husband is dead, and I can’t sleep in my own bed, and… I mean… I’m managing. But I… no. I don’t think I’m okay.”
Those last words came out in a rush, each one tumbling over the next as I tried to hold back inevitable tears. Embarrassing tears, that I tried to hide by removing myself from Wick’s lap, to get away, but I was barely off of him before he pulled me back, closing me up in his arms.
It felt just as I’d imagined.
All those nights he’d talked me through my tears about my husband, I’d dreamt about this. That should have been when I knew I was in trouble, that I was taking it too seriously, that I was too invested. Fantasizing about sex was one thing – fantasizing about being held, being comforted… that was a whole other.
Instead of holding back, I let loose, sobbing into his shoulder to release all the tears I’d stored up in the time that had passed since I swore I wouldn’t cry about any of this again. It had been completely random, a promise I’d made myself in an attempt to be strong.
