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CEO and President.
And ifIwas out of the loop on vital information that affected the day to day operations ofVivid Vixen, what the fuck were we doing here? What the fuck did we have? If shit likethiswas going to get by me without a second look while Kim sat and collected her salary for nothing… why were we here at all? And where the hell had she been while somebody was planting a bug or whatever the hell I was supposed to be calling it, on my computer in thefirstplace?
But she’d been with me a long time.
So.
She hadn’t gotten cursed out.
As far as I was concerned though, my job was the only executive level position that was secure. And to be honest… even that was a little shaky.Five Starhad already done the work of reconfiguring my tech security, but everything else was up to me. Scheduling product recalls, putting a hold on product innovation to revisit and possibly revamp every single one of our current formulas, recounting product inventory, working with Chloe to manage the complete, total, massive PR nightmare… it was enough to make the second buyout offer I’d gotten fromCanvas Cosmeticstwo weeks ago look really,reallysweet.
If it was even still on the table.
Not that Iwantedit to be on the table.
Canvaswas a giant in the beauty industry, sure, and it would be cool to see where they could take theVivid Vixenname with all the resources they had at their disposal. But it would be just that – the name. None of the heart and soul andhustleI’d put into building into the successful business it had become. I hadn’t reached a point yet that I was ready to give it away.
So… it had to be fixed.
“What can I do for you?” I asked Kim, who was still standing in my doorway looking lost. “Didn’t you say your mystery boyfriend was in town this week? Iknowyou’d rather be in his face than mine. Go ahead and go home.”
She sighed, then stepped out of the doorway…intomy office, instead of out. “Um… may I speak freely?” she asked, pushing a handful of long twists over her shoulder.
“Please do. What’s on your mind?”
“You are. Forgive me if I’m speaking out of turn, but… should you really be back already? You just buried your husband after a horrific crime, not to mention all the othercrazystressful things that were happening. And all of this with Vixen is just more stress piled on top of it. I just don’t want to see you make yourself sick.”
I propped my elbows on the desk, resting my chin on my hands before I pushed out a deep breath. “Kim… I appreciate your concern for my wellbeing, but as we’ve recently discovered to be woefully true – this business isn’t going to run itself. I’ll be fine.”
“But, don’t you think—”
“Butnothing, Kim.” My tone was stern enough that Kim’s eyes went wide for a second before she disciplined her expression back into nonchalance. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Not if you come have a drink with me?” she suggested, her voice edged with an almost-desperate quality that was the only thing keeping me tethered to my resolve of not cursing her out.
Still, I let every ounce of my annoyance show on my face. “Okay, what is the issue here?” I asked,reallygiving her my full attention. “You’ve lamented multiple times over the years about not getting to see your long-distance boo as often as you’d like. You come in this morning bubbling with happiness because he’s here. Leave for lunch, stay gone two hours, come back with your hair all over your head and a smile you can’t keep off your face. I keep you here until eight tonight, running you through the ringer trying to get this company back on the tracks. It’s finally time to go, and yet... I can’t get you out of here. You have a man to warm your bed and presumably good sex waiting for you, but… you want me to come out for a drink? Make this make sense to me.”
Kim shrugged. “Well… that’s just it. I… have someone to go home to. And you…”
“Don’t,” I finished for her, struggling to suppress the veil of rage that had just fallen across my shoulders. I could take it if she was just trying to cozy up to me to save her job, butthis?
This…pity?
“Kim… do yourself a favor,” I said, in a low voice as I turned my gaze back to my computer screen. “Leave.Now. And let’s pretend we never had this conversation.”
“Yes ma’am!” she replied immediately.
But… long seconds went by, and I could still feel her in my office.
“For some reason, you are still here.”
That seemed to spur her to action, and a moment later, I was alone.
Little did Kim know, that was exactly how Iwantedto be.
Her leaving meant that this area of the building was empty, and I could set my mood exactly the way I liked it. Lights off, with only the glow of my computer illuminating the room, and my music cranked up loud in my earbuds. It was like being on my own little dark bubble – visual disturbances eliminated while I grooved to whatever was in my ears. It put me in a good space – a space I desperately needed to be. A place where I could work, work, work, without the pesky distractions of loneliness or grief.
I stayed there for hours.
