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“I told you to open the door or I would pick the lock. Why don’t you go take a shower while I fix us something to eat?” He kisses my forehead and places bags on the counter. I hadn’t even noticed he was carrying anything when he came in.
Confusion takes hold of my brain and I stand and stare at him for a few more minutes.
“Liv.”
“Huh?”
“Shower, go.”
I nod and head to the shower, not sure what else to say.
Thirty minutes later and I’m showered and in clean PJ’s. Walking into the kitchen, Ronan is standing over the stove. He’s wearing a white tee that is tight enough to show off his muscles, his tattoos visible through the fabric––he’s covered in them––and blue jeans that are low on his hips. I lick my lips… God, this man is gorgeous.
“You checking me out there, sweetheart?” He lets out a low rumble of laughter and continues cooking.
“Would you like anything to drink?” I ask as I head to the fridge, grabbing myself a water.
“Yeah, I’ll take one of those beers, thanks, sweetheart.”
I frown at the bottles of beer he’s placed in my fridge as I grab him one. I make my way over to him with the beer when he reaches out wraps his arm around my shoulder, tucking me into his side and placing a kiss on the top of my head.
“Thank you. Hope you’re good with veggie stir-fry, it’ll only be a few more minutes, go grab a seat.” He squeezes me then let’s go so I can sit at the counter.
“Why are you here, Ronan?”
“After we’ve eaten, we’ll talk, okay?” He takes a drink of his beer and finishes off the food.
Forty-five minutes later, our food finished, we’re sitting in silence. It’s strange, like a comfortable silence, but at the same time, super charged. Being this close to him feels like my senses are on edge, out of whack, and all I want to do is reach out and touch him. I want to feel him touch me, kiss me.
“It’s almost three-thirty, are you tired?” He turns his head slightly to look at me. I offer him a faint smile and shake my head.
“Go grab a seat on the couch while I stick these in the dishwasher.” He kisses my forehead and climbs off the stool.
I watch him for a minute before doing as I’m told and curling up on the sofa. I’m too tired and too frazzled to begin arguing with him right now.
The sofa dips as Ronan sits next to me. He sits sideways so he is facing me, and I face forward, staring out the window, when he grips my chin, turning my face towards him.
“Talk to me, mo ghrá, what’s going on?”
I try to pull away, but his grip tightens on my chin, stopping me. “Nothing, everything is fine.”
“Don’t. Don’t try and bullshit me. Nobody has seen you for days, you’ve not been to work, and you’ve not answered calls or texts. You blew out of the club so fast Sunday night, we didn’t know if you were okay. Liv, talk to me.”
“I’m sorry, I overreacted the other night at the club, I just… I guess I’ve been so tired, and I couldn’t fight those guys off… I was mad at myself for being in a position where I needed fucking rescuing.”
“Hey.” He grabs me, pulling me closer to him, his hands cupping my face. “Mo ghrá, there were five guys… I know how tough you are, but even you wouldn’t have been able to fight them all off, and you know that. But that’s not what is eating you up, there’s something else going on. Tell me, please.”
I pull away from him, getting up and moving to the window. I can’t be in his space, I can’t think clearly when he’s’ so close. Seconds later, he’s behind me, his arms snaking around my front, wrapping me in a hold that makes me feel safe. His cheek rests on the side on my head. “Liv, please”
I look up and see his reflection looking back at me in the window. His eyes are full of warmth and concern. I take a breath, and everything comes tumbling out.
“I’ve lost everything, Ronan. My ex and I, we didn’t work as a couple, but we were still friends. He’s gone, and now I’ve lost my little girl. I didn’t deserve to lose her, I fought so hard for her, I really did, but I don’t have the kind of money Dylan’s parents have, and it turns out, money counts for everything.”
I swallow, turning in his arms. “It’s Christmas next week, and I won’t even get to see her. I’m no longer allowed visitation, not that it matters anymore. My lawyer called last week, Dylan’s parents are moving to another state and taking Maddie with them. And because I’m not allowed contact, I’m not allowed to know where.”
I’ve been holding everything in for so long, but saying out loud what I’ve been afraid to admit finally breaks me. I sob into his chest. He doesn’t say anything. He leads me to the couch, pulling me onto his lap and tucking me against his chest.
He holds me for hours, letting me cry it out. And that right there is where I fall asleep.
