AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Clearing my throat, I mumble, "Perfect timing." He sits up and discretely rearranges himself before stifling a smirk.
"You would think that was perfect timing, wouldn't you?" I pause before taking a bite of my food to look at him and get a read on his expression. We’ve never done more than grope each other in private so I’m confused about where this angry energy is coming from.
"What is that supposed to mean?" I was trying to make light of being caught making out in front of a waiter. But he seems to be perturbed by my comment.
"Never mind, just leave it. I shouldn't have said anything."
Suddenly I'm feeling uncomfortable, and that's not a feeling I'm used to having around Mason. He gets up and moves back to the other side of the booth, further solidifying my concern that he's upset.
"Look, I'm sorry I've been terrible company. That was not my intent when I texted you this morning. The rest of my day after that was just very perplexing and unsettling. I haven't wanted to talk about it because I'm still digesting it myself."
I look down at my plate, feeling unease settle over me and hoping Mason will just let this go.
"Does it have anything to do with the guy that was staring at you when I picked you up? He had an unmistakable jealous rage in his eye when you got into my car this afternoon."
My eyes feel like they've now bulged out of my head. Of course, he saw the glare August dished out, he wasn't being exactly subtle about hiding his obvious contempt for me. Wait a minute, did he say jealous? I drop my fork and put my head in my hands, not even sure what to say to that.
"Gianna, you know I've always been there for you. I'm sorry I've made you uncomfortable, but what I can't wrap my head around is why now? What's different about today that you feel like you can't talk to me? We've known each other for nine years now, and this vibe from you is new."
I let his words marinate because they genuinely do resonate. As much as I don't want this to be something more than it is, I simply can't avoid it. My connection with Mason has suddenly shifted. He knew it when he kissed me, and while he liked it, he knew I was different. I'm not one for PDA, but I egged him on because it felt good, and I wanted to forget this afternoon.
"Mason—" I start, but he cuts me off.
"Gianna, we've never talked about this, and honestly, I never felt the need until now. But something has changed, and I need to say this." I feel sick with anxiety over what he might have to say.
"I was content with never putting a title on us because we were young, and honestly, I thought our relationship would be stronger not having a title. We have always been free to go to parties, flirt, date, and see other people, and that worked for us. For some reason, we were still us, but you're different today, and I need you to know that I want you. I want you as more than just my friend Gigi."
I swear I've been holding my breath since he started talking, and he must have noticed because he smiles at me. I've wanted to hear those words for so long, and he knows it. But why now? Why today of all days when he's had the past nine years?
"You can stop holding your breath now. I don't want you to say anything. I just want you to think about what I said."
He takes a drink of his margarita with a shrug like what he said was no big deal. That's what he wants me to think, but I know in my heart that it wasn't easy for him to say that. The problem is I'm not sure where to go from here. If he had said those words yesterday before I met August, the answer would have been clear, but there's just something I can't put my finger on making me hesitate about what I once hoped would be my certain future.
After taking care of the check, we head out. I don't want the drive back to my car to be awkward, and honestly, it shouldn't be. It's not even that I don't want what he's asking, so I'll just be honest.
"Mace, about what you said earlier. I don't want you to think I have no interest in taking things further with you. If I'm honest, it's just somewhat intimidating. You know I've never had a long-term relationship. In fact, you are my long-term relationship. I don't want to ruin what we have. You're my best friend."
Yes, I just used the argument that's always been his, against him, and I know I'm being a total hypocrite, but his timing is off. I almost feel like he's saying all this just because of how August looked at me. Some guy I don't even know gives me a look of what he considers jealousy, and suddenly, he wants to put a title on our relationship. I’ve always wanted Mason’s affection but not like this. I want to be his first choice because there’s no doubt in his mind that I’m worth it, not because he felt like his hand was forced.
Reaching out I take hold of the hand that he has rested on the center console, and we drive back to my car in silence. Once we pull into Reds and park, he picks up our joined hands and places a kiss on the back of mine before saying, "I'll wait."
We're parked right next to my car, and I need to get out, but getting out feels super heavy. Releasing his hand, I lean over and place a soft kiss on his lips before I cup his cheek and tell him, "You're perfect."
He is perfect, always has been. But the complete look of longing in his eyes right now makes my heart scream. His breaths have become erratic, like my actions are bringing him physical pain. I want so badly to tell himyesthat 'I'll try, but I just can't. Something is off, so I put my hand on his chest over his heart and lean in to kiss him once more.
The way he reciprocates my kiss tells me he's holding back because he's on the verge of breaking. I've never seen him this emotional. I pull away and say, "Goodnight, Mace," before climbing out of the car.
All I can think about on my drive home is how Mason reacted to me tonight and how everything felt so different. I've waited years for him to want me this way because it's how I've wanted him for so long. He truly wants me, like he really wants me as more than just a friend. It was like I was breaking his heart tonight by not answering him, and that's hard to wrap my brain around because that has not been our dynamic.
Over the years I worked hard to bury my feelings for Mason so that I could keep his friendship. While our friendship is different from most it has worked for us. Maybe subconsciously I’ve always held out hope that he would wake up and want more but now that it's being offered, I can’t help but feel taking it, keeps me from moving forward.
I need to go home, get some sleep, and put this bizarre day behind me. Tomorrow will be a new day. Tomorrow will bring me clarity. Or at least I hope so.
August
Six
Giannaboltedafterclassyesterday. Not sure how I didn't see that coming, but I was determined to run into her one more time. I followed her as quickly as possible, only to be intercepted at the last second by Ryan, who wanted to ramble on about his new role in the Art Department and how we could collaborate. Couldn't he tell I was in a hurry?
