Page 43 of Say It's Me

The minute I saw Gigi standing at the top of the steps deboarding August's plane, I knew she was his. The truth is, I knew from the moment I laid eyes on August that he would be the one to take Gigi away from me. That fact rocked me. It shook me to my core because I knew I would lose my only constant. The only thing that made me want to be a better man was her. I don't care what Gigi believes. I fucking loved her, I still love her, and that's why I have to stay away.

Before I left, I told Gigi I was done. I was going to help her get through that one last mess. At the time, I didn't realize just how messy that last problem would be. I don't think any of us could have predicted the absolute hell that would come next. What mother plans to extort their daughter by holding their son hostage as leverage? I wouldn’t have anticipated that Maria could be so callous and cold-hearted. Maria was the most significant source of Gigi’s pain growing up. She was the one who tormented her physically and emotionally while she was young, but I would never have suspected she would attempt murder. However, the minute Ethan asked where she was, I knew in my gut she’d had her hand in all this. I wanted to get Gigi out of there, and not just because of Maria, but because I wasn't sold on Ethan's claim that he was her brother. I didn't go to the hospital with her after she passed out because I knew August had her guarded. Ethan wasn't going to get away with anything, and I needed to keep my word. I told her I would help her with this one last thing—and it wasn't done.

Not only did I want to make sure the arrests were made as August planned, but I wanted to look into Ethan's and Maria's claims about their relation to Gigi. The girl has had a shit life as it is. She didn't need any more drama added to her plate. So, when Ethan mentioned there was an NDA, I knew that meant there was a file I could hack. Sure enough, there was a file containing the details of Ethan's true paternity, and it was not Robert Grand. I still can't believe how that panned out. I fully expected I would get to beat his ass for lying, but he is now Gigi's problem.

On the other hand, Maria was a bit harder to research. Unfortunately, I didn't have DNA to run a test, so I went off her word and looked into hospital records. Maria said she didn't know what happened to Gigi's bio mom, but I found it peculiar that she specifically mentioned dying while giving birth. I thought maybe it was just a coincidence that she used those words, but as it turns out, that's exactly what happened.

While the cops were at my place going over the events that led to Maria's death with me and Marc, I was monitoring police scanners and news leaks to see if Robert and Eduard were arrested as planned. The feds took Robert into custody immediately. Being the media mogul that he is, his girlfriend at the time posted on Instagram where they were eating brunch. Needless to say, she led them right to him. As hours passed and there was still no word on Eduard, I knew he ran, and I suspected he’d run the minute he found out Carson was dead.

The week August was held up in Carson's basement, I found footage of Eduard screwing Carson multiple times. It turns out he promised her a cut of the money he was planning to steal from Gigi if she cooperated in keeping August out of the picture and distracted. He offered Carson enough money to set her up for life so she wouldn't need a rich man to take care of her. I never got the chance to share all this with August because of how quickly everything escalated after I went to the Bradbury Estate to sneak in and talk to him. Carson falling to her death kind of made the point moot.

Carson's family had been losing money for years, and her parents were trying to marry her off. Eduard capitalized on that by offering her enough money that she wouldn't need to marry a man’s wealth. However, Carson was smart. She was not the kind of person that wouldn’t have a backup plan for her backup plan, and that’s exactly what all three men were. Carson was clearly into women. I'm almost positive the brunette's face she was riding the day August escaped was her girlfriend. I saw her coming and going multiple times on security footage. Initially, I assumed she only liked women, but ultimately, I believe she was bi-sexual and favored them. She was too inherently jealous over August and Ethan’s enthrallment with Gigi for it not to be more. Carson was emotionally invested in both men, whether she wanted to see it or not. The truth lies somewhere in the middle, and now we’ll never know.

Ethan was a playboy who could give her the cover of a committed relationship while she had her girlfriend on the side—or at least, that's why I assume she wanted him over August. However, the more convincing theory is that over the years, their open relationship made Carson resentful of August. In the end, I know that the type of relationship Carson had to offer August was not one that he would have liked, but I think he would have settled for it if he hadn't met Gigi.

Draining his wife's accounts, Eduard fled with her money, every last penny. He owned stock in Grand Media, but not ownership like Mario. After digging, I found the paper trail between Eduard and Robert. Robert was using Eduard to do his dirty work and get rid of Mario. Robert never planned on taking any of the money for himself. He’d intended to give it all to Eduard as payment for getting Mario out of the picture. Gigi getting hired on at Reds and meeting August was not in his original plans, so he had to enlist the help of Carson and Maria to help him get what he needed.

Eduard bribed Carson with money and Maria with a relationship. It was easy to conclude that Maria had been in on the scheme for years, but she wasn’t. Her involvement was recent. Maria was a lying, cheating addict herself. She could concoct a story to fit what narrative she wanted without batting an eye. I understand why Gigi questioned her relation to Elio. Given how everything played out, it was easy to assume he was Eduard’s.

He was a man whore who fucked anything with two legs. When Gigi was young, she mentioned Maria would run away with her but that her dad would always find them. Those times that Gigi recalls being taken are how a child's brain compartmentalized what was happening. She remembers going to unfamiliar places that weren’t home, like her mom was running away to escape, but the reality of it was very different. Maria was having affairs, while she was on benders which is why Elio’s paternity was questioned. Ethan jumped the gun and assumed that because Maria and Eduard were fucking at the time everything went down, they had been together for years. I think Maria believed that Eduard wanted to run away with her so that they could be together. He was her meal ticket out of the shit life she’d made for herself.

It took me the past six months to finally track him down. Yes, I never stopped looking. I'm not one to brag, but I'm damn good at IT, and hacking is my area of specialty. The fucker was good. Eduard was prepared for the moment he might have to flee, but he finally fucked up, and I got him. I'd been using facial recognition software from day one, so I knew he had changed his appearance. Clearly, he was using a new alias as well. His mistake was hiring a new security company to manage his compound in New Mexico. My number one goal moving to Silicon Valley was to expand our company, and I’ve done that and then some. This place is a tech dream. Anyone and everyone looking to break onto the tech scene comes here to do it. I convinced my dad to take yet another investment risk on a promising securities start-up, and it paid off. Not only has the company proven to be extremely profitable in the right hands, but it gave me the break I had been looking for in Gigi’s case. By chance, Eduard hired that same company a month prior to install fingerprint scanners in his safe rooms, and when his prints hit my system, I felt like I had just won the lottery. Finally, I’d caught him, and now I could keep my word to Gigi and maybe move on.

The day I found him, I wanted nothing more than to pick up the phone and tell Gigi I finally got him, that she was safe and no longer needed to look over her shoulder, but that was the last thing I could do. I've thought about calling her every day for the past six months. I played out all the potential outcomes in my head, and none were good. I am the last thing she needs. She chose August because she believed he was what was good for her, and I need to accept it.

I would have changed for Gigi. We would have been perfect together. I could have made her happy. The problem is, I didn't believe that before it was too late. I didn't believe I could be the man she needed, and I thought I still had time to try and be what she deserved. The first time I saw August glaring after her the day she got in my car, I knew my time had run out. He was all in. Hell, who wouldn't be? She's fucking perfect, baggage and all.

The problem was never her. It was always me. I'm not an idiot. Vivian and Gigi were the epitome of what best friends should be. They love each other to the core, and the two have no secrets that the other doesn't know. Because of that, I knew Gigi was aware that there was another side to me. I chose to believe it didn't matter, that she believed in the man I showed her, but now I think she felt she could fix me, and I'll be damned if that's not exactly what I’d hoped would happen. With her, I didn't care about drowning my sorrows in a bottle, going on benders, or hooking up to numb the pain. I didn't have half of the real problems that Gigi had. I was a preppy boy with divorced parents, big deal. The problem was deep inside my core. I was painfully disturbed, alone, and lost. Gigi was the only thing outside of my regrettable proclivities that ever calmed the raging storm inside.

I'm sure she hates me, and possibly resents me. Hell, by now, she might even regret me because I walked away. Maybe that's for the better because I don't know that I could handle knowing she still harbored any love for me. No good could come from that. I walked away to be the better man. I let her go because I loved her, and I'll stay away for the same reason. Now I'm just waiting for the day I don't think about her, so maybe I can find me.

Gianna

Thirteen

1 year later

Thesunissettingover the Ozark Mountains, and the leaves of the black gums, bittersweets, and dogwoods have just started turning brilliant hues of yellow, orange, and red. Sipping on my wine, I can't help but feel like one of the beautiful trees standing tall before me. The past year of my life has been unhinged, unscripted, and unpredictable. Just like a tree goes barren in the winter, appearing ugly, cold, and dead at its roots, it is strong and sturdy, weathering the storm only to come back stronger, more fruitful, and more beautiful than before. Reflecting on the past year's events, I can't help but feel like I had to go through a season of drought to embark on this new season of growth.

"Baby, can you grab me a plate for the steaks? They're ready to come off the grill," August calls over from where he is posted up at the BBQ drinking a highball.

"Yeah, I'll grab one now. Are we going to eat outside tonight?"

"I think so. It's too nice tonight to miss out on this view or this weather."

Watching him stand at the grill in a pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeve Henley is the hottest thing I have ever seen. The man still takes my breath away. I keep waiting for the day when I won't find him so swoon worthy, but that day has yet to come.

Getting up from my Adirondack chair, I call out, "I'll grab everything to set the table while I'm inside." He simply waves his spatula at me while taking a swig of his drink.

August and I moved in together pretty much right after I got back from Florida. Initially, Eduard was still on the run, and they hadn't found the man hired to stage the drugs in my dad's car. August was convinced that until the man was found, I wasn't safe anywhere but with him. However, the longer I stayed and "said threats" disappeared, it became apparent I was there because neither of us wanted it any other way.

Living in the cabin has been a fresh start for all of us. When we met, it felt like the universe was somehow conspiring against us. Every time we were together, we were interrupted or put in impossible situations that made genuinely getting to know someone nearly impractical. I think we both relied on some intrinsic instinct that told us regardless of circumstance, the other person was worth the risk.

Elio and I never went back to the house in St. Albans. Losing a parent is never easy, even if that parent felt like the source of your pain. The week after my father died, the DNA tests Ethan ordered came back. They confirmed that Maria was not my mother. That fact should have brought me comfort. At least my biological mother hadn't tried to kill me, but it did nothing to numb the hurt and deep sadness. Mother or not, Maria basically raised me, and the fact that after eighteen years, she felt no attachment to me whatsoever hurt. The hardest part about all of it was that at some point, I became numb to the pain, the offenses started to blur together into one, and after I picked up the pieces enough times, it became my ‘normal.’

"Baby, what's taking you so long?"

I was so lost in my thoughts I didn’t even hear him approach. August now has his hands wrapped around my waist from behind as he kisses me softly in the places that only he knows best. All the places that melt me, eternally making me weak in the knees. I let him trail delicious open-mouthed kisses down the side of my neck a little longer than I should because heat starts to coil low in my belly.

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