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Iwasjitteryasfuck, the nerves getting worse every night until Wednesday arrived. Cas and Shan had been around the club, but hadn’t had much chance to talk to me. Busy summer long weekend, where the party never stopped. And I was sure they were doing their best to unearth leads on the killer.
Before I left my apartment, I’d changed my outfit five times, Oswald making fun of me from the corner of the room in between little cat naps. I’d settled on a pair of black ripped jeans and a purple tank top that hung in silky waves down my torso. My hair was down and straight and I’d put on heavy eyeliner. Not that I was usually light on the eyeliner, but I’d gone especially heavy tonight.
Despite my first date nerves, I had to remember the true purpose of this date. I couldn’t lose myself to the attraction when I couldn’t tell if these men were trustworthy yet. Before I got too deep, I wanted to at least have a definitive answer about who they worked for.
“I’ve never seen you go on a date,” Mattie said from across the bar, shaking up a cocktail for an ethereal fae woman. “It’s concerning.”
Scoffing, I took a sip of my beer. “What’s concerning about it? A woman has needs. I just don’t typically satisfy them by taking out people I met at work.”
Or at all.I added in my head.
With a suave grin at the lady, he passed the woman her drink and took her cash. She let him keep the change, which was over five dollars. When Mattie worked at the bar, we were busy. His looks drew people in and his charm kept them coming back for more. I lost out on the second half of the equation. My looks got people up here, but I didn’t have any charm. It was purposeful, and he’d given up on begging me to be nicer to the customers.
“Two weeks ago, you were practically hissing at these guys.”
He wasn’t wrong, but I didn’t appreciate being called out.
“Things change.”
The constant itch underneath my skin was taunting me, my body begging my brain to let us take what we needed. I couldn’t do it, though. No way could I jump Shan and Cas until I knew for sure they were on my side. Or, at the very least, that they weren’t on Kylan’s side. If I told myself enough times, my resolve might sink in. I’d estimated another month until I went into heat again, but I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I doubted I had that long.
And I wouldn’t make it through another heat alone.
“You rarely change your mind about men. Historically speaking, the ones who hit on you never come back,” Mattie said, cocking his eyebrow.
I had to wonder if he’d figured out what I was doing. What I was. By now, he had to realize I wasn’t normal and something was going on, but it was a matter of how much he’d pieced together. He was an intelligent man, but believing I was murdering people would take some suspension of disbelief. I was built like a fucking ballerina and pretended I didn’t understand my magic whatsoever.
“Oh Mattie, leave her alone,” Loretta said, bumping her hip against his teasingly as she passed behind him. “She’ll never come back here on her dates if you keep heckling her. And I like to be on top of the juicy gossip.”
She grinned at me, her tight curls of bright pink hair bouncing freely around her face. Her dimples were showing today and her skin was bright. I hadn’t seen her so happy in ages, and it wasn’t because of my date. Loretta must be seeing someone, too.
“Maybe you should bring your date here too, Lor.”
Her eyes widened and she shook her head wildly back and forth. Electricity crackled in the air, her trademark when she got flustered. Mattie gave me a warning glare, keeping our debit machines away from her. “What makes you think I have a date?” she said, high-pitched voice carrying easily over the music.
“Just a gut feeling,” I said, smirking. “Bring him around on your next day off.”
“I don’t know about that…” she trailed off, relief filling her features as she focused on something behind me. “Look, there’s your date. You better get going.”
Spinning on my stool, I ended up face to chest with Caspian and immediately realized I may have made a mistake. He was looking even more handsome than he usually did, his scent as tempting as ever. Being close to him temporarily soothed my body, making me feel like myself again. He was my personal drug, and I was quickly becoming addicted.
His hand reached down to grab mine, bringing my palm to his lips for a soft kiss. “I don’t know what convinced you to like me, but I’m glad you do now.”
Mattie and Loretta both made themselves scarce, focusing on other parts of the bar to give us privacy. The rest of the world fell away and I wondered again if this test phase was necessary. Couldn’t Caspian just be a good guy, working a righteous job? Not everyone was as sick and twisted as I was. Not everyone lived within an intricate web of lies. Maybe tonight I could forget about the risks and enjoy myself with him.
That bubble burst when Shan came up behind Caspian, hand coming down on his shoulder. It was hard to stop myself from glaring at him. He was the one who ruined this, after all. If he hadn’t gone to Bloodshed Brewing, I would have given in to the desire. Without question.
“Jealous?” I asked, sliding off the stool so Cas and I were pressed together, front to front.
For a second Shan’s impassive mask dropped and I felt heat. Irritation and lust combined. Then he forced it back into place, shrugging one shoulder. “Caspian is allowed to date. Not that I approve of you.”
I glared, sliding my hand up Caspian’s torso until I could shove Shan’s hand off his shoulder. Of course I had no right, but for tonight Cas was mine. No need for a reminder of the other man who didn’t seem to desire me at all, despite what I felt for him.
He didn’t take my aggressiveness as a hint to move back. Instead, he pressed forward, crowding us back into the bar. Leaning toward me, he whispered into my ear. “Are you sure you’re not the one who’s jealous? What I’m curious about is whether you’re annoyed that I’m fucking him, or that I’mnotfucking you.”
Gritting my teeth, I avoided the urge to mutter out a spell cursing him. The less they saw of my magical signature, the better. Once all this was over, I would have my chance to use a cruel and unusual curse on him. Top of my list so far was a curse which stopped the target from sitting or lying down. Ever. How long would he last standing on sore legs or soaring on tired wings before he would come to me begging for the curse to be lifted?
“Are you ready to go?” I asked Caspian, tilting my head up slightly to look him in the eyes. There was so much lust in them, I was half tempted to sit him down on the bar stool and ride him right here. He seemed to relish being pressed between Shan and I.
