AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I’m disarmed by the simple words but tell him what I tell myself every time I’m tempted. "Dylan. This wouldn’t work."
"Sky…" He moves towards me and in the limited space, I can’t move away. The lingering effect from the night in the kitchen hovers between us; the desire to reconnect with the passion of that night is hard to escape from.
"Dylan, please." I’m torn between my heart and my common sense. "I need time to think. There’s so much that’s screwed up in my life right now, you know that. I’m hurting and trying to piece my life together."
My eyes fill with tears as all the recent stress catches up with me and Dylan steps forward to touch my cheek. "You need time? Tomorrow?"
I can’t help smiling at his ‘Dylan’ need for everything to be straightforward and the way he wants—the way his life has played out over the last few years.
Dylan rubs a thumb across my lips, and the abrasive touch contrasts with the gentle look in his eyes. The part of me yelling ‘I can’t be part of your crazy life’ quiets at his action.
"Please don’t be angry. I’m sorry I pissed you off by coming here tonight, but I can’t get you out of my head or heart." He lifts a hand and strokes my hair, setting electrical charges across my scalp. "Come to the States with me."
I blink. "What?"
"I’m touring next month. You can come—if you were with me I could cope."
"I can’t drop everything and run off to the States, even if I wanted to."
"Why not? If you haven't found a full-time job yet, take time out with me?"
Everything is so simple to him. I yank open the kitchen cupboard to retrieve a jar of coffee, and a glimmer of temptation appears as the door handle comes off in my hand. Swap a crappy flat and non-job for a summer in the States with Dylan? Am I mad not to?
As we face each other, vivid memories of our time together tumble into my mind on replay, stirring the powerful emotions this man elicits from me. Days spent rationalising the situation, of locking my Dylan Morgan in a box in my head seem pointless in this moment.
But my heart broke once and too recently, and I can’t trust anybody yet. Whether this were Dylan or another guy, I’d feel equally desperate to keep my distance until I’ve mended.
I want to preserve the memories of the happiness I had with Dylan. I don’t want to risk revisiting the pain of loss and rejection I know will follow if we continued. However much Dylan believes what he’s saying, reality will treat us unkindly.
But I want him so much. The contradiction keeps me awake at night, because the emptiness left by someone I hardly know is confusing.
Swapping one man who tried to control my life, for another whose life is so out of control frightens me.
The problem is, I want Dylan but can I ever have him? He belongs to so many other people who won't share him with me. I turn back, study the inebriated guy who came to my flat in the middle of the night. Dylan coming here tonight isn’t normal. Nothing about him is normal.
"Do you often do this?" I ask.
"What?"
"Stalk girls because they say no to you?"
He stands straight in alarm. "No. I'm not stalking you.”
"How can you stand there and say that? Look at this situation. How many people travel over a hundred miles to visit someone, uninvited, in the middle of the night?"
The confusion on his face surprises me. Does he not see anything wrong here?
"Okay. I'm sorry. I did the wrong thing. I didn't think." Dylan runs a hand through his hair, eyes fixed on mine. "What should I have done? What do I have to do?" He catches me off-guard, moving forwards and placing his large palm on my face before I can react. "Sky, I love you."
My breath hitches. “That’s not true."
"Itistrue. Shit, Sky, I’ve not felt anything close to how I feel about you. Not for years. This is what you’ve done to me. I can’t get you out of my head, Sky."
"Dylan, don’t do this. Not now."
"Why won't you believe me?"
I swallow. “Because you're a drunk mess and don’t know what you’re saying. Nobody falls in love after less than a week."
