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35
Sky
Dylan disappearsto the recording studio, and I reluctantly leave the bed and soak in the bath I wish Dylan shared with me.
I explore the grounds again and come across a large rectangular pond, overhung by willow trees. Koi carp splash to the surface, their orange and black bodies writhing in the water. These unnatural looking, monstrous goldfish always grossed me out, but the place is quiet. There's a stone bench beneath one of the tress and I curl my legs under, and open my book.
I swapped one fantasy for another; I'm cocooned in a different world. Now Dylan and his overwhelming presence have left, I stare at the emptiness of the vast estate. The weird family he belongs to—other band members, his manager, even his PA —colours his life in ways I can't imagine.
We never spoke about the 'what happens next'. My heart and body crave to be around him, but I see things like Jem and wonder how I could survive. Jem isn't surviving—and Dylan nearly didn't. Was Dylan once as big a mess as Jem is? Or even worse, is he still like Jem but has this hidden?
Dylan spends all day at the recording studio and I spend mine avoiding the larger part of the house in case I see any of Blue Phoenix. I'm not ready to embrace the rest of Dylan's life yet.
I took a little time earlier using Dylan's laptop to research ideas for my future. The disconnection from the crapshoot my life became in Bristol brings clarity, as if I am on a retreat where I can take stock of my life and plan where to go next.
I have the qualifications to study something at university but I have no idea what. Closing my eyes and picking a course by clicking randomly won't help. I sigh and scroll around the site. University would buy me time—and more opportunities. Maybe marketing or a business course? Hell, I don't know.
The shadows grow longer, and only when the temperature drops and goose bumps my arms do I realise how long I’ve sat on the bench. Crunching footsteps in gravel alert me to someone approaching and I glance up, hoping it's not Jem.
Dylan. The setting sun behind silhouettes his tall figure and he bends down to kiss me gently.
"Hey." He sits and wraps his arm around my shoulders, hugging me close. "Enjoying relaxing?"
"A little bored." I close my book.
"Oh. Sorry. We have to get the tracks finished for the album. I delayed things by taking a trip to Cornwall."
I touch his face. "Don't apologise to me."
"Okay, but I don't want you to..." He pauses.
"Leave?" I ask.
He shifts. "Yeah."
"I'm not staying."
Dylan removes his arm and stares at his boots. "Oh, but—"
"I don't mean I'm leaving today but I can't stay here forever," I say, and take his hand. Dylan doesn't respond and his eyebrows tug down. I lace my fingers through his. "Dylan?"
"As long as you don't do what you did last time." He turns the ocean eyes to mine. "Leave without saying goodbye then shut me out."
"No, I won't." I swallow. "Ever."
"Good." He lifts my hand and kisses the back, our fingers still entangled. "I understand you want to leave, but do you think going home is a good idea? Maybe you should move somewhere safer than your flat?"
"I don't need to move somewhere safer. I’m going back to my new life."
Dylan stiffens. "So you are shutting me out?"
"No. You’re part of my new life. Sorry I took so long to figure that out."
He smoothes hair from my eyes, cool fingers brushing my warm forehead. "Being Dylan Morgan's girlfriend is complicated though. I don't want you scared away from me."
The words skip in my chest. "Girlfriend?"
"You're more than a summer crush now, Sky."
