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"You say that now but I don't believe you," says Dylan.
Jem sits forward quickly; I shrink back in alarm. "If for one moment you'd let me know she wanted to leave, things would've been different. She wasn't some slutty girl throwing herself at us—nothing like a groupie. I wanted to talk to Lily and get to know her. I believed she was different until you told me she was lying and tricking us."
Dylan shifts. "Some of the night is hazy, you know that..."
I turn to Dylan in surprise. This he didn't tell me. "What does he mean, Dylan?"
Dylan looks at the floor.
"Yeah, conveniently hazy, hey, Dylan? Did you tell Sky what you did that night was revenge for the chick a few months before." He pauses and narrows his eyes. "Wasn't it Dylan?"
“No."
"I fucked his girlfriend," Jem says to me.
I cringe at his words.
"Ancient history, Jem,” snaps Dylan.
"Really? It wasn't history that night, was it? You didn't really want Lily—you wanted to piss me off. And after what you made happen the night at the house, she wanted you. She could've wanted me.”
I blink at them arguing about a girl as if she was some toy they fought over.
Jem's hands tense on the arms of the sofa and his breathing quickens. "I thought she wanted me. I thought she was playing hard to get and look at what I did..."
Dylan shifts in his seat. "You didn't rape her."
“And what if I had? Because of you! Did you tell Sky how you convinced me Lily wanted to fuck me? That you told me she’d confided that she wanted to but was shy?"
"What the hell... Dylan?" I look over and his gaze remains on the floor.
"I can't remember half the night," he says softly.
"Lily. She was beautiful, calm, and sexy in a way she didn't realise. She pulled me out of the haze of the world we were in and I wanted to touch her reality—touch whatever surrounded Lily. And you fucking ruined my chance!" growls Jem.
The bizarre mix of gentle and aggressive confuses me. "Jem. We can't drag through everything," says Dylan. "We can't rewind, please just tell Sky the truth. Tell her Lily lied about me raping her."
Jem snorts and fixes his eyes on me. "Lily lied." He looks back to Dylan. "Can I go now?"
"Ha fucking ha, Jem."
"Fine." He turns his bloodshot eyes on me again, a small smile curving his mouth. "Dylan fucked Lily and was done with her. Done with the girl who could've been mine. I might have almost assaulted her, but he used her for sex and threw her away. I never intended to do that with Lily—I wanted her, not just sex. Tell me, Dylan's summer Sky, which is worse? I stopped. He didn't. Yeah, Lily said yes to him but only because she thought she meant something. I told Lily exactly who was responsible for keeping her in the house that night and how we bargained over who got to fuck her. That's why she threatened to go to the police."
My stomach twists, as I picture Lily again, trapped between the two men in front of me.
"Is that true?" I ask Dylan
Dylan rakes a hand through his hair, unable to look me in the face. "Fuck, Jem. She would never have wanted you.”
"How do you know? I never got the chance.” Jem drags himself to his feet. "I can't do this. I need a fucking drink."
Realisation hits. In his weird, screwed up way, Jem felt something for Lily. But why? Because she was something he couldn't get? After three years, he wants to end things between Dylan and me because I remind him of her? Another pawn in their game? I'm stuck in the middle of a stupid revenge act by Jem.
Dylan didn't rape Lily. Finally, I have the answer to why he hates himself; how his deceit caused the events that night at his house and how his selfish act of revenge created this side of himself he hates. I know this is his past he’s struggling with, but I can't stomach what Dylan did, not right now.
"I think I'll leave you two to chat," I say quietly and stand.
"We don't chat, haven't you noticed?" snaps Jem.
