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“Do you think she took too much on purpose?” This was heavily denied in the press, the finger firmly pointed at her involvement with Jem.
“Maybe. She was screwed up.”
“What about?”
“Family life. Abuse, that shit. You don’t know the half of it. If I ever met any of her fucked up family, I swear I’d end up in court for kicking the shit out of one of them.” He blinks and rubs a hand across his head. “Maybe I was trying to save her from her world. She thought she could help me too, but all we did was obliterate each other’s lives.”
Jem’s words show insight I wasn’t aware he still had. I want to press the issue, find out what’s beneath his layers, but Jem stands, pacing around and running his hands through his tangled hair.
“Don’t kill yourself as well,” I tell him. “You’re worth more than this.”
He fixes me with brown eyes—the eyes of someone lost within himself. “I’m not worth anything. Living life day to day until the end suits me. One thing this shit with Liv taught me. Live.” He chuckles. “Ironic name. Yeah, I’ll do what I can because as the old cliché goes, life’s too fucking short. I have my music, my money—”
“And a huge fucking hole in your life you’re filling with drugs. Again. Go to rehab, Jem.”
Jem turns away and lights a cigarette. “What’s the point? Been there, done that. Life’s the same when I leave.” He inhales the smoke sharply and holds it in his lungs.
“Life won’t change if you don’t.”
He exhales. “I just said I don’t want life to change.”
“Yeah? You could have life bigger, brighter, and happy. Not this.”
“Aww, Dylan. I just need the love of a good woman, like you, huh?”
Beneath the sarcasm, the truth lies behind his jealousy over Sky and the reason Lily fucked things up between us to the extent they did. His dark past stretches further behind than mine.
Aware we’re returning to a subject that’ll fuck up our ceasefire, I return to my drink.
And I’m tired. Unbelievably tired and drunker than I thought. The spinning room darkens and I’m struggling to keep up with the conversation. Resting my head on the back of the sofa, I struggle for breath. Great, this shitty flu is moving to my lungs. Fucking perfect. Jem continue to talk but his words are distant as I retreat into a vacuum surrounding me. Sky’s face drifts into my thoughts, smiling and happy on the island in the sun.
