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Chloe kisses me goodbye, her hair sweeping my cheek as she does. Simon grins, hands in his pockets, unsure whether physical contact is appropriate, as usual. I hesitate. If I hug him, will Grant expect me to touch him too? Hugs for both guys? When Chloe wraps her arms around each of them with a peck on the cheek, I remain seated, suddenly aware we’re not school friends and life is a hell of a lot different.
When Grant doesn’t stand and waves them off, I groan inwardly and text Dylan, asking him to meet me outside. Left alone with Grant in a quiet corner of the hospital cafeteria, I brace myself for whatever is coming.
“Do you need a lift home?” he asks, as I put my phone down.
“No, Dylan’s picking me up.”
A muscle in Grant’s cheek twitches. “It’s true then? You and him still together?”
“Yes. Why? What’s it to you?”
When you’ve spent the majority of your teenage life, and then most of your adult life with someone, they’re not difficult to read. Apart from when they’re having affairs with mystery blondes apparently, but anyway. I know exactly what is whirring in Grant’s brain from the soft and sorry expression in his face.
“Don’t even say the words,” I mutter.
“I made a mistake, Sky.”
“You’re damn right you did. But thank you for stopping me making an even bigger one.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“We weren’t happy really, were we? Our relationship was just a habit like wearing a comfortable pair of jeans that we couldn’t bother replacing. Better this happened now than later.”
Grant twists his empty coffee cup in his hands. “I miss you. Seeing Tara has made me realise what I’ve lost too.”
I sink back in my seat. “Didn’t we have this conversation in August? Can you remember what I said then?”
Grant gives a small smile. “I think it was along the lines of ‘go fuck yourself’.”
“Well, there you go. Why ask again?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I thought you might feel the same. You could’ve changed your mind.”
I can’t decide whether he’s arrogant or stupid, or both, even to contemplate that I’d want him back. “I’m with Dylan now.”
“How long for? You don’t really think the fantasy will last?” He eyes me warily.
“Don’t,” I warn.
“Sky, people get through situations like ours. Maybe I needed to do what I did so that I’d realise what I had was better.”
“Omigod! Are you saying you screwed a girl to make our relationship stronger? You’re an idiot.” There are a few different words I could use, but I bite them back.
Grant reaches across the table and touches my hand. “Five years is a long time, Sky. I can’t switch off how I feel.”
I snatch my hand back. “You managed to switch off when I saw you in our bed with someone else!”
“I made a mistake.” He drags his hand through his short brown hair. “As soon as you left, I knew.”
“And as soon as I left, I knew we were over long before this happened. Be honest, Grant.”
Grant’s green eyes have looked into mine over the years, but never in the same way Dylan’s do. What does Grant really feel? Loss? Frustration? Jealousy? Because I don’t see love in his eyes.
“I’m sorry I never showed you how much I cared about you. We just got a bit… stuck.”
My phone beeps, jolting me out of the conversation. Dylan. I text him back, ignoring the rising irritation with Grant. “Grant, I don’t want to dig this up. I’ve moved on.”
“Really? You’re still in Bristol because you can’t let go of your life here. I don’t think youhavemoved on yet.”
