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“End of counselling session?” asks Bryn, sarcasm edging into the concern.
“Yeah. Sorry.”
“Thank fuck for that.” He pauses. “I thought you were Jem calling. I haven’t been able to get in touch with him for a couple of days.”
“Shit. Is he okay?”
“Think so. He’s with that chick from Ruby Riot; they’re probably holed up somewhere.”
I shake my head to myself. “That’s tricky, if he’s considering becoming their manager, and he’s screwing her. You know Jem. This will end in disaster.”
“That’s what worries me.”
I’ve met Ruby a few times when I’ve met up with Jem and the band. I can’t figure her out. She matches Jem on the obnoxious scale, and I’m amused watching how he copes with his match, but Ruby has a lost look that’s uncomfortably like Liv. Liv, the girl who died.
“Is Dylan back?” I ask. “Maybe he can find Jem?”
“He’s travelling with Sky again and keeping his head down.”
“Cool. Then we’re not all being fucked around by women.”
“You said you weren’t broken hearted, Liam.”
“Doesn’t mean she’s not screwing with my feelings.”
Bryn huffs down the phone. “I won’t be your agony aunt so if we go out, don’t whine on about this anymore. Please.”
“I don’t fucking whine!” I retort
“No, but when you’re drunk, you do.”
I grit my teeth. “Do you want to catch up or not?”
“Yeah, I’m bored. Time out from the band was a great idea, but six months... I don’t know what to do with myself.”
“Travel, find yourself a chick. Fuck, Bryn, the world’s your fucking oyster.”
“A chick? I’ve seen enough of the shit you guys get yourselves into. Steering clear, thanks.”
Either Bryn has a really low sex drive or he’s hiding something. The last time I saw him with a groupie was over a year ago and he keeps his head down when they’re around. Not that any of us bothers with groupies much anymore. I’m ninety-nine percent sure he isn’t gay, so I’m suspicious—not that I pay attention to everything he does. Maybe he’s secretly screwing around and pretending he doesn’t. Or maybe he’s saving himself for someone special. I laugh, accidentally out loud.
“What’s funny?”
“Nothing, mate. One day I’ll find your secret.”
“Secret to what?” he asks sharply.
“Nothing. Try calling Jem again. Let me know.”
As I wait to hear back from Bryn, I watch some boring re-runs on TV and text Cerys. She doesn’t reply and my heart hurts. Our daily texts back and forth from the last two months have dried up. The few times I’ve called Cerys, our conversation was stilted. I hope that’s because she’s trying to hide her own hurt and not because the longer I’m away, the more distant we are.
* * *
CERYS
The hole leftby Liam’s absence was once bearable because I knew he wasn’t far. Now I’ve pushed him away and I don’t know if he’ll come back. Why would he after everything I said to him? Liam is an amazing man with so much love to give. I’m just scared he has that confused with his natural need to help. He says he loves me but one day, when Liam’s away from my screwed up life, he might realise what he’s doing and stop.
Craig continues his ‘poor Dad’ act, irritating me. When he drops her home after visits, he makes snide remarks about how one day he won’t have to, and I itch to smack him. He’s delusional.
