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“I’m on edge the whole time because I don’t know if you’re staying or going or when. So really, you’re the one cutting communication. We should be discussing the future.”
I smooth my dress. “I didn’t realise.”
“You’ve stayed here almost three weeks, and every day you do the harder I’ll find life with my house empty of you. If you go back to Cardiff, I can’t see you as often—f you’re here, in London, I can see you everyday while I’m around. I didn’t say anything because I waited for things to settle down after... Italy, but we need to make some decisions.”
Italy. I’ve blanked the memories in case the emotions follow. Ella doesn’t mention her impromptu ‘holiday’ and after a few unsettled nights, she was back to her old self. But Ella hasn’t asked to see her dad again.
“I know,” I say softly. “I won’t make any decisions without you.”
Liam’s shoulders relax. “Remember what I said in Italy—how I won’t let anyone hurt you again? I meant every word.”
“When you told Craig you’re marrying me?” I ask with a laugh, and poke him. “You do know it’s customary to ask someone to marry you, before you inform other people?”
Liam stares at me. “Why’s that funny?”
“You definitely pissed him off further—and threatening the lawyers. You scared Craig enough for him to let us leave.”
Liam’s face darkens and he mutters, “I meant what I said.”
“Oh!” The breath rushes from me. “I didn’t think. Liam, I...”
“Oh, fuck, well I never wanted this to happen.” He bangs his head on the back of the sofa.
The oxygen levels in the room must’ve dropped because I’m struggling to breathe. I came down here to discuss why he was pissy with me, not start heavy discussions about our future.
“What do you mean? You’re not making sense,” I say.
Liam places a warm hand on my cheek. “If I proposed to you, I’d make a big fucking deal, not by yelling at your ex.”
I shift away. “Either my brain is more shattered after the last few weeks than I thought, or you’re trying to ineloquently tell me something.”
“Kind of.”
“Kind of? What exactly is this conversation about?”
Liam grabs my face in both hands. “I want to marry you, but I fucked up by not proposing properly.”
“How exactly do you propose properly?”
“Not like this! Fuck!” He stands and picks up his guitar. “Forget it. We need to sort out where you’re living before I start putting any more pressure on you. I don’t want you thinking I’m trying to fix you and go through that bullshit again.”
Typical man-style, Liam walks across the room and places his bass guitar with the other red one on the wall, taking his time and avoiding looking at me.
“Liam Oliver, will you marry me?” The words fall from my mouth as my heart seizes my mind. He freezes but doesn’t turn back to me.Shit.
“I love you, Liam. I didn’t think I could ever love anyone and still have enough left for my daughter. I understand now though. The love I give to you, instead of to Ella, doesn’t take any away from her. You fill the space inside Ella’s heart this leaves. You love Ella, too.”
Liam turns slowly. “She’s a part of you,” he whispers. “A part of the beautiful, fierce, and warm-heartedyou.”
I smile. He lights my world in a brightness that cuts through the shadows surrounding us recently. When he drags me into his arms and kisses me softly, I let go. Of the fear, pain, and confusion of the last few weeks. Giving in to the intensity of the emotions I keep in check around Liam, I allow him into the space in my heart where I lock away my fear of hurt.
“Do you mean this?” he asks.
Is his stunned look a good or bad stunned? “Do you?”
“Hell, yes!” he breaks into a grin.
“But not too soon… I want some of the crazy sorted before we move on.”
Liam circles my waist and kisses me again. “I understand, slow down, stop telling you what to do…”
“You can tell me what to do sometimes,” I whisper, hovering my mouth close to his.
The strange static hangs between us, the moment before lips meet. I thought the tingling excitement would pass by now, but I don’t think I’ll ever grow tired of Liam’s mouth on mine. Liam was right on the first night he made love to me. That was the moment my whole-self belonged to him. Our hearts began to beat in a unison that leads us on the same path, one we’ll always navigate together.
