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“Done what? Told your girlfriend and four-year-old daughter to leave your house and never come back? You were pretty clear about that.”
“I made a mistake.” He offers me his half-smile, the one that charmed me into his bed almost six years ago.Six years with him.
“Damn right you did. Your daughter cried for her daddy every night! Why should we go back with you?”
We both know the answer. “Because you don’t have anywhere else to go, Cer. I miss you.”
I rake my hands through my damp hair, and hold tight, fighting against screaming every insult that comes to mind. The tight feeling of anxiety fills my chest, but the suffocating breathlessness comes from something else. He’s right. I’m trapped.
“Why did you do it?” I say.
“I don’t know. Things were shit at work. We were arguing. I wasn’t happy. All you did was nag me when I got home, and Ella did my head in. I couldn’t cope anymore; I wanted my own space.”
“You have responsibilities, you dickhead!” I say, and then lower my raised voice. “You’re not the teenage boy you pretend to be by drinking with your mates every night. Just because they don’t have kids yet, doesn’t mean you can pretend you don’t.”
“I’ve never been unfaithful to you,” he says quietly. “I had loads of chances.”
“What? Are you telling me I should be grateful you only kicked me out and haven’t been screwing around?”
“No, I mean I must love you if I said no to other girls. We can work this out.”
I choke. “Are you suggesting I move back in and forget what you did? How do I know this won’t happen again? How do you know I even want to come back?”
Craig reaches across the table and wraps his fingers around my clenched hand. “Because you always do what’s best for Ella.”
His secret weapon against me. As I look back into the brown eyes I once loved, the band across my lungs tightens. “You don’t care about Ella.”
“What?” He pulls his brows together as he drops my hand. “She’s my daughter. I love her. I’ll love her until the day I die because she’s mine.”
“Well, you have a bloody funny way of showing her!”
“I fucked up. I lost my shit. But I’m here now to fix this.”
“Lost your shit? It took this long for you to recover from your childish tantrum and come and look for us?” I retort.
“You could’ve come back home.”
“What? You took my keys, Craig. You told me to fuck off, that you were done.” I stand. “No, I won’t come back.”
He leans back in his seat, legs outstretched. “Well, you can’t stay here forever, where are you going to live?”
“I don’t know. I’ll find somewhere.”
“Where? My daughter isn’t living in a dodgy area with single mothers and drug dealers.”
“You created this!”
“No, you did the day you got yourself pregnant and asked me to help. I gave up everything for you and Ella!”
“And I didn’t? You are so fucking selfish!” I yell.
The kitchen door opens and Louise hovers in the doorway. “Sorry guys, Ella’s listening and she’s getting upset. Can you keep it down?”
I clench my jaw and close my eyes. “Sorry. I’ll come now. Craig’s leaving.”
“I’m not leaving without Ella. You stay here if you want but she’s coming with me.”
“She is not!” I shout. “We’re staying here!”
