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“Can I talk to you, please, Liam?” Cerys says tersely and smiles sweetly at Emily. “Alone.”
“Sure thing,” Emily says and disappears toward the home theatre room where Ella watches TV.
“What were you thinking?” Cerys mutters at me.
Shit, I knew it. “Umm.”
“Umm?”
This is Cerys’s holiday too and I want her to spend time on things for herself, not just with Ella. So I brought in a babysitter. Well, nanny I guess. Talk about going down like a lead balloon. Maybe I should’ve waited until tomorrow but I’m fucking desperate to spend time alone with Cerys. Doesn’t she want time out, too?
“Emily helps out Pete and Leeann, friends of mine. She’s really lovely—and she’s qualified. Ella will be fine.”
Cerys rubs her eyes and glares at me. “Why didn’t you ask me? I wake up after a jet lagged rest and find a strange woman with my daughter.”
“She’s not strange, I know her. Ella likes her too.”
“And that makes everything okay?”
“Shit, Cerys. I didn’t think a babysitter would be a big deal. I wouldn’t put Ella in any danger, would I?”
“This holiday is for both of us. I want to spend time with Ella.”
“And I said I’m selfish. I want you. Yes, I know Ella is part of the package but you deserve to be Cerys sometimes, and not Ella’s mum round the clock.”
Especially when you look like you do and you haven’t been in my bed for over a week.Her tight shirt across the tits I’m constantly in trouble for staring at, and the ‘too short’ shorts begging me to slide my hands across her ass are distracting me from the argument. This woman needs to loosen up.
Cerys makes an exasperated noise, turns on her heel, and heads in the direction Emily went. She pauses. The TV screen dominates one wall, and Ella is lying back in a leather recliner chair with a cup of something I hope she’s allowed to drink in the holder. Emily sits in the next seat and they both sing along to the Disney movie filling the room with a brightness Cerys doesn’t match.
I warily look at Cerys. “At least you get a break. How many times have you watched this movie now?”
She doesn’t speak but leaves the room. Her bare feet slap across the floor as she heads towards the wide marble staircase.
“Cerys!”
I find her in the bedroom where the white sheets are crumpled from her afternoon sleep. Cerys gazes out of the window at the ocean vista. When I walk over and touch her shoulder, she turns a tear streaked face to me. I run my hands across my head.
“Fuck, Cerys, did I screw up that bad? I did this to make you happy, and now you’re fucking crying!”
I sit on the edge of the bed, placing my hands on the cool linen. I will spend my life trying, but I doubt I will ever understand women. There’s nothing complicated here, surely.
Cerys doesn’t respond.
Jesus, I give up.“Fine. I’ll tell Emily to leave. She wasn’t staying today anyway. I wanted you to meet her and chat and see if you liked her.” I stand.
“Liam, wait.” Cerys wipes her face. “I’m overreacting. Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel better. This is a shock—you should know by now how cautious I am about Ella.”
“And everything,” I mutter. Common sense kicks in and I don’t elaborate. With the mood she’s in, Cerys would no doubt pack and leave if this argument descends any further.
“This is all surreal to me, Liam, and I’m anxious that I’m out of my depth. Here, with you, caring so much about you...you doing things like this and showing how much you care, too. That scares the crap out of me.”
“Oh, Cerys.” I go to her and attempt to hug her stiff figure. “Let go for a few days. Live. Be you. Enjoy this.”
Cerys wraps her arms around my waist, and I place my head on her soft hair. This is what I crave more than anything in the world—holding Cerys and being with her, making memories andloving her. “I’m tired and not thinking. I wish you’d warned me.”
“I told you I was selfish,” I say.
“No, you’re not selfish. You were thinking of me.”
