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25
AVERY
I am a social caterpillar,not butterfly. I don't flit around happily at parties, I hide and eat too much. For a bizarre reason, an image of The Very Hungry Caterpillar enters my mind and I giggle to myself. Bryn mouths 'what?' and I shake my head, focusing on a spot in the room where nobody famous stands.
I daren't look at who is in the other group.
I'm fine amongst people I know but put me in a room with people I don't and my awkward nature takes over. Put me in a room with famous people I don't know and watch as I lose all vestiges of normal social behaviour.
Remaining next to Bryn, I study the contents of my wine glass.
“Yes, that’s definitely wine.” I look up at Cerys. “Are you okay?” she asks.
“I'm okay.”
“Overwhelmed?”
“You could say that.”
She touches me lightly on the arm. “Help me carry some plates through.”
Gratefully, I head back into the kitchen. A fluffy white dog crosses toward me, nails clattering on the stone floor, tail wagging as it looks up.
“He wants some of the food,” says Cerys. “Olaf! Go away!” She shoos the dog into the hallway and closes the door. “I bet Liam let him in. Ella will sneak down to take Olaf to bed with her.”
“Is Ella your daughter?”
“She is, and has Liam wrapped around her little finger. Hence the dog I don't want.”
“Oh, dear.”
“Hmm.” Cerys grabs a pair of red and white checked oven gloves before dragging trays containing tiny parcels of pastry from the large oven. “You're Welsh too?” she asks as she tips the food onto a square platter.
“Yes. Pembroke.”
“Not far from us then; I mean where we grew up—me and the guys. Why did you choose London?”
“I wanted to get out of Wales.” I'm ashamed, but it's true. More a desire to escape a small-town life than the specific country; I fiercely defend my Welsh roots if anybody decides to poke fun at me.
Cerys laughs. “And there's Liam and Bryn wanting to go back to those roots.”
“Really?”
“Well, Liam married me and Bryn's with you.”
I want to say to Cerys that I wish her words were true, but they're not and may never be. Bryn won't let go of whatever is holding him back, and I can't commit physically. The 'I'm an ordinary girl and he's a rock star' excuse doesn't work considering Liam’s and Dylan's choice of partners, so I smile and nod.
“I'm glad Bryn found you. He wasn't himself for a while, but his sense of humour's back.” She arranges the triangles on the plates, carefully pushing them into a pattern. “Has he ever spoken to you about why he went off the rails?”
Odd question. Doesn't Bryn talk to his friends? I thought he was close to them all and he's open with me, mostly. “Bryn told me he had a relationship end recently and that he wasn't dealing with it well.”
“Relationship?” Cerys straightens and her lips purse. “You're the only girl I've seen him in a relationship with.”
This time I correct Cerys. “We're casual; it's not really a relationship.”
“You think?”
I gulp my wine and pretend not to hear. “Do you want me to carry a platter out?” I put down my glass and pick one up.
