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He was followed by Bounty, Hollywood, Baldy, Cass, Hack and Freaky.
“Last time I checked, I wasn’t a fucking duck. There a reason ya’ll are out here?”
“We all breathe,” Cass said, rage burning in his eyes.
Maybe Onyx shouldn’t have added the part about the kids in front of the man with three.
“I’m going to ride, tell me what you decide in there.” Onyx fished out the keys to his bike and stepped off the porch only to see the men doing the same. “You don’t need to go,” he snarled, this was about him clearing his head. Settling back to the norm. He understood the pain that needed to be released at a tempered rate because there was no second chance for him. There would be no questions why he did what he did if he didn’t calm down his rage and let it go like so many others had in the past.
“The hell we don’t,” Red announced as he got on his bike. “You’re not going out there alone. If you go for a ride then we all go for a ride. Until we deal with ACT Up nobody is going alone.”
Where in the hell did he come from? Onyx didn’t know he was just there. Wasn’t the man still in Church. Reviewing shit? “Red, you don’t need to go with and neither do these men. I can go alone. I just need to ride, I have a lot on my mind.” Onyx tried once again to convince the men they didn’t need to go with him.
“Get on your fucking bike and just ride,” Hack ordered. The former Navy SEAL didn’t mince words and though most men didn’t cross others in the Steels, Hack was the quiet storm everyone feared on the horizon.
The only solace came from the fact that not one man in the room questioned him. They didn’t think he imagined or misinterpreted. Belief, like the belief in his ability to save them. The same belief Topaz had in her eyes, fueled his hope for the world. Fresh air, freedom and sunshine from the ride was necessary to clear his mind. A lot had happened to him in the last few days. Topaz would be okay, but he wasn’t sure he would be. Losing his leg had fucked him up, but not like this. The words spewed at him running in an endless loop making him feel helpless and hopeless. There was no turning it off. There was no hitting pause. The men were dead, but thousands more were lined up behind them eager, and possibly jealous they hadn’t gotten to join what they thought was fun.
Onyx straddled his bike and started the engine.
The volume on the roar doubling then tripling and soon it became deafening as the brothers, disgusted by his account and the picture he painted showed they had their own shit to process.
One good thing his new sleeve had come in and even though his leg was still bruised, it felt good for the first time in a long time. Drugs, the love of a good woman and rest had healed a part of him. At least when he rode, he no longer would have a thousand needles pushing through his hip from the pain. Sure, pain meant you were alive, but damn man there are limits. He had that going for him now.
Taking to the road, he headed down the highway to freedom. It felt good to be on his own bike again and taking control of his own life. Even though as he checked his mirrors, he was surrounded by his brothers, he felt alone and independent. Red let him take the lead and decide where he wanted to go.
What did he have to offer Topaz? Not a damn thing. He had left his life in LA to come to this bum fuck town in Montana where the only job came from his club. He found a brotherhood, but that was all he found. Now, he had a woman he was sure he was falling in love with and he had nothing to give her, but himself. The home he lived in was Hollywood’s and the money he made came from the MC and the repairs he completed. Would it be enough for her?
Onyx wasn’t sure it would ever be good enough for Topaz. She was a strong woman who had been with an MC for a long time. First in New Mexico then in Montana. More than likely, she had fucked most, if not all, of his brothers could he deal with knowing that? Her riding bitch with Mountain nearly sent him over the edge. Jealously rose up in the pit of his stomach like a Kraken summoned from the deep. Glancing in the mirror once again, he saw Hollywood riding in twos with Hack. Men who’d both been with Free, but in the group of men behind him Red and Cass may be the only ones that hadn’t slept with the woman. Still, they rode. Side by side. Neither man bringing up what had come before. The way Hollywood was with Free at home made him a bit envious and he understood the spike in jealousy that came from having tasted Topaz.
Feeling her body and holding her the night before then having to pass her off to Mountain. Fuck, he should have taken her on this ride. She’d yet to straddle his bike and hold on to his waist. The weight of her adjusting the ride as he took the curves only to have her be a part of the move. Would she be able to settle for just him? It had to be that way or nothing. He couldn’t do it if she wanted to continue her path in life. Unlike Hollywood, he couldn’t watch Topaz on stage and there would be no going into the back.
He knew now, he would have to talk to her about all that. But did he want to? Until they had taken care of ACT UP, he knew he needed to get his head in the game and take down their foes. He’d claimed her, but part of him still wondered if she looked at him like she looked at the rest of the club members? Self-doubt screamed through him as he continued his way down the highway. When he reached the turn off to the State park, he decided to go inside and have a tour of the park.
Cutting into Bighorn Canyon National Rec, he marveled at the high rock cut. It was a beautiful place and peaceful. It took a bit to find a place where he could be near the water’s edge by the seemingly vast Bighorn Lake. Parking, he shut off his motorcycle. Getting off, he walked to the ridge, picked up a polished rock and skipped four times across the lake’s smooth surface.
“You’re pretty good at that.” Hollywood walked up to him.
“Thanks I’ve been practicing.” Onyx threw another one and the same thing happened but only skipped three times across the water. “See.”
“Yeah, I say you’re pretty good now.”
Hollywood was one of only a few he ever let in from the PD over the years. He wasn’t blind to the looks he got from the others in blue, but Hollywood had never given him that look. It was why when he offered him a chance to still kick ass in the place he was raised a part of him thought maybe, just maybe Hollywood had been raised in a bubble in rural America, hell the world. Only a threat if it was earned.
“Didn’t get that from the Pacific,” Hollywood mused. “I do miss it some days.”
“The crash of the waves puts everyone in their tiny place in the world. One of those big swells you could get lost in, if you let yourself.”
“I can’t believe you talked me into surfing.” His friend shook his head. “But I get it, like this ride, when it’s right everything disappears.”
“And all that matters is you and the ocean. The men and women on the waves with you don’t give a shit about anything but taking in the beauty of it all.” Onyx bent to get another stone and then sent it flying into the lake, hitting five skips this time. “But the quiet is nice too.”
“What’s on your mind Onyx. Why the ride?”
Hollywood was his best friend and he considered him a brother deeper than any blood bond. “I just can’t settle in my mind about a lot of things. Being taken by those fuck tards and this Topaz thing I got going.” Onyx bent down, picked up a few more rocks and threw them. “Last week, all I wanted was for her to be civil to me.”
“Do you have an approximate time when the whole Topaz thing started?” Hollywood teased and picked up a few rocks himself.
Onyx cut his eyes at him.
