AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“How was it supposed to be?” There was noise on the line, and Ilan could picture his brother jumping up to move around as well. “Wait, are you into this chick?”
“Come on, man, don’t call women chicks,” Ilan said automatically.
“Fine, fine. Are you into this preschool teacher?” Ari said, making a point to sound as correct as possible.
“She’s the principal,” Ilan said, then winced because his brother’s point had clearly been made. “I don’t know if I’m into her or not.”
“Well, you clearly think you might be,” Ari was still laughing at him. “Listen, what is your actual complaint about the way things are right now?”
“I don’t know—”
“Dude, don’t do that. You know, you just don’t want to say it out loud,” Ari said, and Ilan was struck again by the way his brother was always able to get to the heart of the matter.
“Rachel has been drunk texting me again,” Ilan said, frustrated. “I’ve got twenty different pictures of her tits on my phone.”
Ari snorted but didn’t say anything, so Ilan continued. Pacing faster around his living room.
“And I only ever hear from Abi when one of us is in a foul mood, so even if I wanted to have a conversation, it’s going to end in a fight, and then we fuck, and I leave. Also, I don’t know if Rachel’s been talking to people or what, but I can’t even say hello to a woman without her giving me this… I don’t know—”
“The shame elevator?” Ari suggested. In response, Ilan must have made a noise of confusion because his brother laughed, “That thing they do where they look you over starting at the top of your head then down to your feet, and then they look you in the eye, but they’re totally going out of their way to check out the goods.”
“Yeah, that,” Ilan said, glad to have a name for it, but not liking it.
“Well, Rachel’s not the first woman you’ve had a relationship with that was mostly sexual, right? When was the last time you had a real relationship?”
“I thought Rachel and I were having a real relationship,” Ilan said, annoyed at the bitterness in his voice.
“Really? I thought you said you never went anywhere in public. Mom never even met her.”
“We were together for two years, and that’s kind of a long time to have a casual thing. Don’t you think?” The fact that he was defending this to his brother of all people just made him angrier. Ari made a sound of agreement or it could have just been designed to let him know he was listening. Ilan sighed, “It was complicated.”
“That’s not the word I would use for it,” Ari said. “She did you dirty, man.”
“Not the point.”
“It kind of is, though,” Ari said, completely missing the warning in his brother’s voice. Or maybe catching it and ignoring it, Ari was good for that too. “Also, while we’re on the subject, you know if you have a rebound with her kid’s Preschool Principal, all hell is going to break loose.”
“Abi’s not a rebound.”
“Bro, you just said you’re coming off a two-year-relationship with a woman who seriously fucked your mind up and doesn’t get boundaries. Of course, you’re on the rebound.” He said something else but it was muffled, so it was probably to Crystal. Ilan had the sudden urge to break something. He really hated talking about the thing with Rachel.
“Could you just—”
“Oh, Crystal says to tell you with regards to your hate-fuck—”
“She’s not a—”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it, with regards to your current issue,” Ari said, making a show of rephrasing. “Your best bet is going to be telling her like it is. The longer you let it ride, the more difficult it’s going to be to switch it up.”
He was afraid of that. He wondered if there was a nice way to sayhey, instead of fucking out our feelings, would you rather talk about it and then maybe catch a movie?
“And listen, this is from me, not Crystal,” Ari said, and Ilan could tell his brother was about to end the call, so he tensed for whatever bomb was about to drop. “There’s plenty of dudes that would be happy to change places with you. You don’t want to keep being everybody’s sidepiece, and you don’t have to.”
“Thanks, Ari,” Ilan said, feeling both very small, and very old all at the same time.
“That’s what I’m here for,” Ari said, sounding pleased with himself, this time his voice sounded unmistakably television psychologist. “You deserve to recognize your truth and live it. I want you to live your best life.”
“I’m not going to live, laugh, love my way out of this,” Ilan said, completely over it.
