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Karis reared back like she was stunned he’d guessed right. Then she schooled her expression and dug into her plate. “Yeah, but like I said, it’s your life. Your brother told me you’re not into relationships. It’s my fault for not listening and—”
“I wasn’t into relationships until you. And that’s not a line.” He raked a hand through his hair, wondering if there was any way to tell her what he was thinking without revealing all the raw places inside him. But he wasn’t good at head games. “This is as straight up as I can be: I’ve had a lot of friends with benefits. They were pretty much the only female friends I had. But the night I spent with you changed something for me I still don’t understand and I don’t know how to explain. I’m not sharing benefits with anyone right now because I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop wanting you. And I’m guessing that somehow you saw me with Madison, the blonde, after the night you and I spent together.”
“Yes.” Her answer sounded curt and crisp.
She was hurt. Cage understood, and he was relieved to finally have the mystery solved.
“Madison called me literally two minutes after I left your house. We’ve been friends…” He paused and realized there was no point in being less than honest. “Yes, with benefits, since our senior year of high school.”
“You’ve had her at the top of your booty call speed dial list for the last…what, fifteen years? Clearly, you’ve tapped that a lot.”
He tried not to get pissed off that she wanted to cast the worst possible light on his admission. The last twenty-four hours had not been kind to her. And if he’d seen her cozy up to another man right after their amazing night together, he’d be fucking furious and not very gracious about it, either. Besides, she had daddy issues—just like he did. So he had to cut her some slack.
“Yep. Not even going to deny it. We both treated it casually. She’s a career woman who doesn’t have time for guys and relationships, but she still sometimes wants a man to hold her. Until I got together with you, I didn’t see the difference between screwing and making something more meaningful, so Madison and I never turned one another down. That’s the unvarnished truth. But the morning I left you, she called to tell me that she’d just rushed her father to the hospital. She’s an only child. Her mother died a few years ago. She was all alone, and she couldn’t face what was happening without a shoulder to lean on.”
“Oh.” Karis stared at him with pursed-mouthed contrition before she took a sip of her drink. “So…you stayed with her while he recovered?”
“Yes and no. He died the next day, so I couldn’t just leave her. That’s the thing about my friendship. It wasn’t simply about the benefits. I tried to be truly supportive, lend her my strength until she could bury her dad almost a week later.” When Karis chewed on her lip, mulling his words over, he chowed down on a bite of his meal and took another approach. “What would you think of a man who walked out on a person whose last parent was dying?”
She sighed. “You had to stay. I didn’t realize… And now I feel really stupid. I came by to bring you cookies, you know. I barely know how to bake, but for you I tried. Yes, I was that gaga about you. So when I saw you with her on your porch, hugging her and kissing her forehead, I assumed…”
“I would have assumed the same thing, cupcake, if the shoe was on the other foot. I would have been mightily pissed off, too. But I swear, Madison and I haven’t exchanged benefits since I’ve been with you.”
“It was a traumatic time for her, and sex was probably the last thing on her mind—”
“Well…” He rubbed at the back of his neck, deciding if he was going to be honest, he better be brutally so. “Actually, she…um, hit me up after the funeral. She needed to feel alive, she said. She needed to forget.” He shrugged. “Straight up? I got her off with my fingers so she’d have some relief. I ended it there. Hell, she cried the whole time. But the truth is, after you, I didn’t want her sexually anymore.”
He glanced Karis’s way to gauge her reaction, but she looked blank and unreadable. “Then what happened?”
“Well, I told her that I could no longer bethatguy for her but I’d always be her friend.Justher friend. She was disappointed but she understood. Then I set about trying to open the conversation with you again. You put me off for weeks. And no matter how much I begged, my brother wouldn’t help. Then you left for vacation. Here we are.”
“Do you have any more friends with benefits I should know about?”
“None I won’t think twice about ignoring. I’ll even delete them from my phone while you watch, if you want. I’m serious.”
“Why do you think what you do matters to me?” She tried to appear unaffected, but he saw her uncertainty.
“Cutter told me about your mom, about all the selfish douches who have cheated and strayed and abandoned your family. My dad was the same kind of asshole, so I know how hard coping with that as a kid can be. It sucks to look up one day to find your dad gone.”
Karis bit her lip, and behind her sunglasses he could see her emotion. He was getting to her. Reaching her. He didn’t know precisely where they were going, but his every instinct as a cop and as a man told him that nothing right now in his life was more vital than winning this woman back.
“It changes you. I was a kid when my dad walked out. Apparently, he had a girlfriend, and one day he decided that being with her was more important than staying with his wife and daughter. I don’t think I ever really forgave him. And it definitely changed the way I approached men and relationships. I was always looking for the guy who wouldn’t do that to me.” She laughed at herself. “I was looking for Prince Charming.”
“And I didn’t seem like him.”
“That night, I believed you were. I really hoped that you were the guy for me, the faithful one my mother never has found. When Jolie got lucky and fell for Heath, I started letting myself believe it was possible for me, too. Then you felt so…I don’t know, right is probably the best word. Like we fit together or something. Like we belonged, you know? Or maybe you don’t and I’m just babbling.”
“No, I get you totally. I was feeling it, too. So when I was sure Madison wasn’t going to fall apart anymore and she understood our relationship now, I called you. When you didn’t want to talk to me, I won’t lie. I was kinda devastated. But I wasn’t going to give up. I’m still not. That’s why I’m here.”
Karis tucked away another forkful of her quesadilla and washed it back with a sip of her drink. “I have to admit, I’m shocked. I didn’t see myself ever being this close to you again.”
“How did us being apart make you feel?”
“Crappy. Sad.” She hesitated, then finally tore off her sunglasses, revealing the tears pooling in her eyes, just about to spill over the rims. “It hurt.”
“Me, too. And that’s not bullshit. I don’t have any experience with making a woman happy out of bed, but I want to try, see where we could take this.”
A pretty little smile crept up her face, which she promptly hid behind her napkin as she wiped her mouth. “All right. I’d like that.”
