AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I had just turned nineteen when I found out. I didn’t mean to get pregnant…”
Her first year of college. Maxon pegged the time frame right. I hope like fuck some frat boy didn’t play games with her or seduce her and not give two shits when she had to deal with the consequences. “Oh, baby. I’m so sorry to hear that.”
“It hurt.”
Physically? Emotionally? “I know.”
“You don’t know. You can’t! I wasn’t even sure how I felt about the baby and before I could make up my mind…”
Her pregnancy ended. Her someone to love unconditionally was gone.
“I’m sorry. So, so sorry.” It’s not much but I don’t know what else to give her now beyond my deepest apology and sincerity.
She dissolves into racking sobs. “I haven’t spoken a word of it since the day I lost the baby.”
Not once? She’s bottled it up all these years? Yes, that’s like Harlow. She shoved her pain down, which is why she still has unresolved feelings years later.
And she chose to tellme. That speaks volumes. So does the fact she’s already worrying about this baby. Harlow is older now, her situation more stable. We’re going to be fine. Great, even. She’ll be a fantastic mother. I’ll be the kind of father my dad was before he passed away. We’ll have a happy, wonderful life. If I can help her heal.
First, I have to calm her down. “Harlow, deep breath. This isn’t good for you or the baby. You have to relax for me.”
She nods…but the agony of her sadness lingers thick between us, echoing in every one of her cries. I try to soothe her, rub her, whisper to her and reassure her. Nothing.
Finally, I take the pregnancy test from her hand and kiss the top of her head. “I’ll be right back.”
Rushing around the house, I gather everything I think might help her. Within minutes, I dump an armful of stuff in my bedroom, then head back to hers, scoop her up, then lay her in the middle of the bed.
When I ease back, she grabs me tighter. “Don’t go.”
My heart stops. She never wants me to see her vulnerability, but now she’s not only allowing me to stay while she’s falling apart, she’s begging me to. “Oh, baby, I’m not leaving you, just setting up a few things to make you more comfortable.
With a nod, she releases me and sniffles, trying to stop her tears.
Dashing around the room, I light the citrus candles she found to help me. I downloaded an album of all the soothing atmospheric music from the video game she’s been playing and I meant to surprise her when the time was right. As much as I’d love her delight, I’d far rather see her calm now.
As the strains of the wind instruments fill the room, I put the happy yellow squeeze ball in her hand and read it. “Focus. Listen. Breathe.”
“What if I lose this baby, too?” she asks, eyes so full of worry and misery that my heart breaks.
I caress the hair from her face. I still have so many questions about her previous miscarriage. Now isn’t the time. “We’ll try again. We’ll see the doctor, find out if there’s anything else we should be doing. I’ll take care of you. I’ll stay here and hold your hand and tell you every single day how happy I am that you came into my life because I always knew I had the capacity to love…but I never knew I would fall for someone as perfect for me as you.”
A fresh wave of tears racks Harlow. “You’re ruining me.”
The words sound like an accusation, but I hear surrender in them. I feel it when she flings herself against me. With those words, she’s admitting something. She’s opening doors between us.
“You ruined me the night we met,” I admit softly.
Harlow jerks back. “I’m not that girl. I won’t make an idiot of myself over a guy. I don’t cling.”
She’s so adamant, I immediately back down. “You’re never an idiot and you don’t cling. But if you lean on me for support when you need it every now and then, there’s nothing wrong with that, baby.”
Somehow my soothing tone seems to have the opposite effect. “I don’t commit, damn it.”
Because she’s afraid to.
I take her by the arms and pull her against me. “You didn’t in the past. I don’t know what happened with the guy who got you pregnant so young, and you don’t have to tell me until you’re ready. Maybe he left you when he found out. I don’t care about him. But I love you. You’re havingmybaby now. And I’m staying. Get it through your head that I’m not the guy from six years ago. I’m a man who understands responsibility and knows what he wants. I want you and our family, Harlow.” I slide one hand down to her still-flat belly. “Try to believe in me. In us.”
“I don’t know how,” she admits with a whimper, crying against my chest.
